August 24, 2008

Expectations

I'm raring to go back to Malaysia. I really am. I haven't seen my family and friends in what seems like ages, and I'm beyond excited to be leaving for the States in a couple of weeks. But the one thing that is really making me dread going back is this one question that I know every single person I meet up with will ask me.

"So, have you gotten a job yet?"

If you're asking me if I'm working as an engineer yet, the answer is no. But if you're asking me if I'm working as something else, on something else, then the answer is yes. It took much deliberation over the past months to finally come to the conclusion that I don't want to go back to that field. Ever.

Well, surprise surprise. It was never something I was good at, nor something I was interested in. In fact, every day back then was a challenge to keep a straight face that I've been fooling everyone with, that I was actually good in what I do. I wasn't. Engineering never came easy for me, and it was a struggle to keep up with. It was a challenge all right.

But see, I can take challenges. Don't get me wrong there. Challenges keep my mind sharp. But I'd so much rather be challenged in something that I'd love to be challenged with. Not something I have to struggle so hard to only keep up with. I don't want to just keep up. I want to excel. It really doesn't take a genius to guess I'm never going to do so as an engineer.

Again, don't get me wrong. I do have technical skills. I have strong ones, in fact. Just not in designing a chip, or troubleshooting equipment. I know how to do them not because I already knew how to, but from experience on the times that I screwed up. The technical know-how just does not come to me easily. It's bloody frustrating, that much I can say.

My mum thinks it's a disappointment that I'm leaving that field. Oh what a waste of money on your tertiary education and all that. You see, everyone expects me to be an engineer because I graduated as one. Because I worked for four years as one. It's just sad that no one ever took my second degree, a Masters degree mind you, seriously. The degree that I wanted to do, not something I had to do. And it's from the second degree that would be a start of a whole new career. Perhaps not as financially appealing as an engineer's, but it's what I want. It's time I finally do what I wanted to do all along.

I've already started on it. It's not officially launched yet, but at least it's a beginning. It's never easy venturing into something new, but dammit, I'm finally good at something, so I'm taking this challenge head on. Yes, I will be working from home for the time being, but I'm not complaining. Not yet anyway. I'm going for courses to brush up and improve my skills. I'm doing something.

So what am I going to say, in response to that question?

I'll let you know when I see you.

11 comments:

zewt said...

are u going to be another internet entreprenuer????

Tine said...

Zewt:
I'll let you know when I see you :p

PS: Not entrepreneur, but yeah, it's got something to do with the Internet.

Lay Hun said...

No matter what, I wish you all the best in everything you do :)

the Constantly Dramatic One said...

I'm on the edge of my seat. Woman, when are you coming back?

You wanna go out for drinks? At a mamk? Malaysian style =D

kooi said...

Hi Tine,

I understand what you're going through and I belive you made the right decision.

Just like you, I graduated with Engineering. I did well in Altera but hardly had any interests. So I switched to Marketing and I just can't wait the day I can totally move out of Semiconductor. :P

All the best in your Internet business!

Love, Karen.

Pink Elle said...

Good luck, Tine! Am sure you'll do well!

It takes great courage to leave a field you have studied and trained for and I truly admire your courage to take this new step!

pelf said...

I know what THAT feels like!

It's really me answering questions like, "Why are you STILL so thin?" or "Haven you gained some weight yet?".

Seriously. I hate those questions.

Adino said...

I think they usually ask those questions as some form of small-talk, where they just want to know your latest updates.

As for the disappointed family members, I think that your degree should not dictate what kind of work you do.

Who knows, your engineering knowledge can always be applied later on in your life!

Leyenda said...

That's a pretty big move. I'd certainly never be able to do that but my decision's made easier by the fact that I'm useless at everything else ^_^;

Best of luck with your new direction. We'll be cheering for you.

TrueBluePenangite said...

Never saw you as an engineer. You are wayy too girly, girl. Can't wait to meet up in CALIFORNIA!!!!!!! I have 8 shifts left before we fly out to Vegas. I am so damn excited. Fall is coming to Wisconsin...brrrr.....I really need to move to Hawaii

Jamie said...

Hey girl,

I finally quit my job! and will be moving to Sydney in Nov 7!

Well, I can't wait to start my own biz! Got lots of ideas, just need the time and get to Sydney...Right now I got to finish my 1 month notice and then I will have a month off to myself. Thinking of going to Japan with my mom.

Anyway, enjoy your trip back in Malaysia. I am already starting to miss it before leaving..!

Will see you in Melbourne (soon I hope).