November 27, 2005

My First Swarovski

Every trip home, I made it a point to get something nice for myself. Sort of like a reward for 2 months of hard work, so to speak. I'd pick up perfume or cosmetics at Narita airport every time I leave.

This time, it was a
Swarovski crystal necklace. It even came with a certificate of authenticity. How cool was that?

My First Swarovski

Perhaps, in future, I'd be able to get myself a genuine diamond instead. None of 'em cereal-boxed ones, but a lovely >1 ct. piece.

Hmm ...

Home Sweet Home

Ladies and gentlemen,


I am so glad to be home, I almost kissed the ground when we landed in Penang. Well, almost.

I also had the pleasure of sitting next to an elderly Japanese gentleman who was also going to Penang. He has a Christian name (it's Edward), and is a Catholic. Oh, and he speaks better English than I do. He certainly made my journey from Japan to Penang very entertaining. Too bad he's old enough to be my grandfather *wink*.

Now if you'll excuse me, I'll have a shower and lie on my nice, queen-sized bed which I have missed for over two months (no more futon for me! Well, at least for a while anyway).

It's good to be home.

November 23, 2005


Site update: Thought I'd add a little ticker to show that I'm going home soon. Aww ... ain't it cute?

November 22, 2005

Four More Days, People!

I'm all for wanting my belongings safe and in one piece. But this is just too much.

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Courtesy of UNEASYsilence

Taking kiasu-ism to the max, people. Watch and learn.

November 21, 2005

Lemme Go!

It is now 8.53pm, and I'm still stuck in the bloody office. My trainer wouldn't let me leave. ARGH! Believe it or not, I'll be the third last person to leave to office.

Bloody tired. Bloody hungry. Not a good combination. I'm so going to hit the sack when I get back. To hell with dinner.

A Chance At Happiness

I came upon this article as I was reading The Star online a week ago.

Simple Case of Birds and Bees

The article was about the controversial, same-sex union between Jessie Chung and Joshua Beh. Chung underwent three major operations to become a woman, having known from young that she was a woman, trapped in a man's body.

The article irked me, as I think it was rather unfair to stereotype Malaysians to be narrow-minded twits who could not accept such an affair. Not all Malaysians think it was wrong. I think it is perfectly all right for these two people to be married to each other. Of course we hold firmly to our culture and eastern values. But who are we to condemn this couple if what they’re looking for is only a chance at happiness?

Can you imagine how it would be like, for a person to feel trapped in his/her own body, led by society as to how they are supposed to live their lives, condemned by the same society when he/she finally has the courage to come out of his/her shell? Who are we to say how these people should live? A genetic disorder, an extra X or Y chromosome that transforms us to what we are, but deep inside, we could never be “normal”. I simply cannot imagine what it is like, but it seems to be a perpetual prison one cannot escape.

Never underestimate the things people do for love. This couple is going to be condemned by our rigid society for life, because they chose simply to throw the rulebook out of the window. In the eyes of religion, they are not a valid married couple. Yet, in the eyes of each other, that is exactly what they are.

This article reminded me of an episode of CSI which I watched (Episode 100 – Ch-Ch-Changes). It portrayed a transsexual (previously male) who went through drastic measures just to be a woman. She fell in love with a man, who had no idea of her past. She even faked her period just to keep it real. She went through hours of therapy, because she was determined not to let her fiancé know what she was before. They have never had sexual relations, and she was worried about how he was going to receive her on their wedding night.

The episode did not show of her fiancé’s reaction when he was told of his fiancée’s condition (she was the victim in this episode, by the way). However, what struck a cord in me was not only this person’s story. The episode showed a lot of transsexuals who had problems going through life because society simply would not accept them as “normal”. They go through life, searching for love. When they finally find it, and when their partner cares not of their past, it is mankind who shuns them. What we see in CSI, of course, is fiction, but it also reflects the reality of what is in the world today.

In the article, it was quoted “regardless of how pretty a sex change makes a man, he will never have the ‘exclusive’ right to be a wife, what more a mother.” What do you reckon by ‘exclusive’ right? What maketh a wife and a mother? The XX chromosome? What about single fathers everywhere who have to be a father AND a mother to their children? Does that make them unfit to care for their children?

I am not homophobic, nor am I pro-gays and lesbians. However, this couple has come a long way, especially Chung. Just give them a chance at the happiness that they deserve.

Five More Days, People!

This was how I passed Math in SPM with flying colours.

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PS: By the way, I'm only blogging every day to count down the days I shall be home. I can't seem to get the Javascript for a countdown timer to work on this, so I had to do it manually.
And you thought I was such a constant blogger.

November 20, 2005

Birthday Wishes


"Happy Birthday" means much more
Than have a happy day.
Within these words lie lots of things
I never get to say
It means I love you first of all,
Then thanks for all you do.
It means you mean a lot to me,
And that I'm proud of you.
But most of all, I guess it means
That I am thinking of
Your happiness on this, you day,
With pleasure and with love.

Love, ME

Six More Days, People!

Thought of the day: I'm tired.

November 19, 2005

Seven More Days, People!

Went to Ueno with a couple of friends for the day. We did some shopping. The girls were adamant on buying Chinese products from home and that meant expensive imported goods. Imagine spending 500yen on a measly bottle of Malaysian soy sauce, which would only cost about RM3. Oh well, the things we do for a little reminder of home.

Almost got lost in Shinjuku Station. Again. Sigh, I swear that place is getting bigger by the minute. Either that, or there are just more and more Japanese and other foreigners who come from nowhere, flooding the place. It’s horrendous, I tell you.

Pretty much a tiring day. The train was jam-packed with people, and my poor friend had to stand all the way, because it was bloody difficult to get an empty seat. That’s close to 2 hours on her feet. Ouch! I was dead to the world when I got back to my apartment.

November 18, 2005

Eight More Days, People!

Mood of the moment – Bad. Very bad.

Is it so bad for me to WANT to be happy?

I had a pretty lousy day at work yesterday. To hold it out for another 8 days is becoming a major feat for me. Everyday I try very hard to find something to look forward to in order to endure another 24 hours. I can’t wait to go home to regain a sense of normalcy in my life, where I can ditch this pathetic, weepy, clingy, angry, schizophrenic, all-round bitch that I have become ever since I stepped foot in this country.

So I woke up this morning, determined to be optimistic, with new hopes that I shall be able to go through another day WITHOUT wanting to kill someone, without fears and without tears. The first hit of the day – I injured my thumb my accidentally slamming the door on it. It’s now bloody sore, with blood clots under my nail.

At the office, I’m challenged once again with the incompetence of those at home who do not do their jobs as told. Work is frustrating. The bundle of nerves, which I am constantly in, caused me to make a slip at the spur of the moment. Whiplash. I’m still waiting for it.

What’s that about Murphy’s Law, about anything that can go wrong will go wrong? Damn right it is. Well, bring it on. You hear me, world? I’m not afraid of you. How much more can you break me? That which does not kill me is going to wish it had because I’m so going to kick its sorry ass to kingdom come.

Sigh. I think I need therapy.

November 17, 2005

Nine More Days, People!

Had dinner with my Japanese trainer last night. We had Indian food, which was absolutely delicious. The menu was bilingual, which meant I did not have to depend on photographs to order my food (that’s the norm for me here anyways, since I can’t read Japanese). I’ve not had good Indian food in such a long time (the last time I had Indian food was in the UK). Too bad I didn’t take any photos of my food. I had a mild curry and tandoori chicken. Oh, and let’s not forget about the essential naan. Speaking of which, have you ever seen a foot-long naan? *wink*

November 16, 2005

I Need An Outlet

I’m feeling rather blah today, which means that I’m having a mixture of good and bad emotions swirling about in me, intertwining with each other, ready to burst anytime. I awoke from a horrible nightmare (it’d kill me if it came true) this morning. Work’s just as crappy. Somebody up there must not like me. One problem solved, another crops up without warning. There is no way I’m going to go home guilt-free if I do not finish everything in time. I wish I could scream “I GIVE UP! Solve your own damn problems”. Sigh.

In insisting NOT to extend my stay in Japan, I have already stepped on quite a lot of toes. Being the hopeless people-pleaser that I am, this is a rather strong step for me to stand my ground and not crumble when I was asked to stay a couple of weeks more in Japan. Only ONE can win in this situation. Call me selfish, but “mm hai lei sei, chao hai ngor mong” (in Cantonese, literally translated to “either you die, or I’ll be busy”). It’s non-stop PMS, affecting me, and those whom I care about very badly. For the sake of my sanity, to hell with you, but I’m going home.

It’s amazing how the mind works. Or how circumstances and the environment can reduce you to something that you never thought you could become. Never again shall I judge a person the whole world might deem unrighteous, because I could very well be that person one day.

I already am.

Ten More Days, People!

I’m finally going home, in exactly 10 days. Can’t wait, as I’m terribly homesick. I’ve had enough of Japan for now. Time to go home for some real food. Lots to do when I get back. First thing would be to embrace the Internet connection in my room once again, after being deprived of Internet access at home for so long. It’s amazing how I managed to survive that long without UNMONITORED Internet access (and no, that does not mean I’m into animal porn).

Methinks I’ll also revamp this site a bit. I’m pretty tired of the design. Think it looks bland (green is so last season). Perhaps I should just concentrate on a specific theme. Time to get what minimal creative juices I still have left flowing.

Stay tuned.

November 14, 2005

Of Apples, Waterfalls and Expensive Mushrooms

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The tree of good and evil (Kajitsutei Apple Farm)

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Adam's Apple

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Smell of lilacs

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Colours of Fall

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Falling Waters

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Autumn Leaves

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Matsutake Mushrooms at 4500 yen PER mushroom

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Okutone Winery & Vineyard

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"What's in a name? That which we call a rose by any other name would smell as sweet. "

November 11, 2005

Love, Me

This song was first introduced to me when I was in the UK, by a dear friend (an old flame of hers used this song to woo her ;)). It never ceases to stir my senses everytime I hear it. Thanks, Mich!

I read a letter my grandma wrote
Back in 1923
Grandpa kept it in his coat
And he showed it once to me
He said, Boy you might not understand
But a long long time ago
Grandma's daddy didn't like me none
But I loved your grandma so
We had this crazy plan to meet
And run away together
Get married in the first town
We came to and live forever
But nailed to the tree
Where we were supposed to meet instead
I found this letter, and this is what it said ...

If you get there before I do
Don't give up on me
I'll meet you when my chores are through
I don't know how long I'll be
But I'm not gonna let you down
Darling wait and see
And between now and then,

Till I see you again,
I'll be loving you
Love, me

I read those words just hours
Before my grandma passed away
In a doorway of a church
Where me and grandpa stopped to pray
I know I've never seen him cry
In all my fifteen years
But as he said these words to her
His eyes filled up with tears

If you get there before I do
Don't give up on me
I'll meet you when my chores are through
I don't know how long I'll be
But I'm not gonna let you down
Darling wait and see
And between now and then,
Till I see you again,
I'll be loving you
Love, me

Between now and then
Till I see you again,
I'll be loving you,
Love, me

- Colin Raye

Click here to listen.

Bloody Workoholics

If there is one thing to be thankful for, for my time in Japan, it would be that it opened my eyes to see the way people here work. I thank my lucky stars every day that I do not live here, nor work here (permanently, that is), and that I shall be home soon.

These people are complete workaholics. They work till midnight, and still find the energy to come to work early the next morning. Hey, I would totally understand if there's a rush in the deadline of a project, or just that time of the year where one will be very busy with a heavy workload, thus having to stay at the office till the wee hours of the morning. This is not the case. This happens every day, every week, every month, every year. Of course, the income they receive in turn is a lot more lucrative than mine, but that does not mean that life begins at work, and ends at work.

When I was sick in Japan, I went to the company clinic to see the doctor for some medicine, and if I could have an MC to take a day off to rest at home because I was feeling really poorly. Imagine my surprise, and horror, so to speak, when I was told that there was no such thing as an MC given by the doctor. The policy is "if you are fit enough get off your ass to see the doctor, you are fit enough to work" (my words, not theirs. But close enough). My trainer told me to go home and rest. In Malaysia, with an MC, you can justify your day off work (to set the record straight, I have never misused the priviledge of MCs). In Japan, you're just taking a day off work. Period. And that's not good. I took a half-day off today for personal reasons, and I was ticked off for "playing hooky", even though I justified my reasons (never mind me rushing back, missed lunch, and started work immediately when the rest are off at lunch, of course) in advance.

I can't help it if I fall ill whilst in Japan, especially during the changing of seasons. I can't help it if I need a day to rest at home because of it, rather than to bust my brains and my health at work. I can't help it if I wish to go home early (when I say early, I mean leaving an hour and a half AFTER office hours are over) after a hard day's work of busting and over-saturating my brains the whole time, and yet speaking to almost no one. What is the point of staying on to work, when I simply cannot think anymore? Sure, I could stay on and surf the Internet at the office at the pretence of working hard till late hours, as many are prone in doing, but I chose to go home instead. Is that so wrong?

Having said all that, I'm sure you would think that I'm not cut out for work. Or lots of work for that matter till I have to practically live at the office. Or that I have to work even though I'm sick. You're right. I'm not. I am a responsible person, and if there's a need for it, I accommodate to my best. If the work needs to be done, I plan my time to get it done to meet the deadline. Sometimes that would mean that I stay back a little later to get it done. Sometimes that is not even necessary. It does not mean I'm not interested in my work. Either way, as long as I get the job done on time, get off my back. I earn my keep, you earn yours. Just don't expect me to be like you.

November 10, 2005

Birthday Bea

Another birthday shout-out of the month, and this time, it's to my cousin Bea.

Courtesy of

Here's wishing you a very happy birthday, cuz.

November 03, 2005

Long Weekend

Hurray for the long weekend. I have no idea why tomorrow's an off day, but I sure as heck am not complaining. God knows I need a break. I'll be going to Harajuku with a Japanese friend tomorrow to watch the Cirque du Soleil's Allegria. The show had better be good since I paid 9000 yen for my ticket (excluding the train fare to Tokyo). Still, I'm looking forward to a break in the routine.

Have a good weekend.