The office politics I was ranting about a couple of weeks ago have somewhat settled. I've finally conceded and am finally mentally prepared to surrender my position as a project leader to someone else (even though I'm officially still one, in the organisation chart, up to the point when I leave for good).
Learning to let go is not easy. It was not easy in letting go of a relationship, and it certainly was not easy to let go of my hard-earned position at work either. Yet, in doing so, it made life a lot easier for me, and I'm finally letting the bugger in to help me out with the leadership of the team. Again, in doing so, he sensed my relenting, and he backed off and gave me the space I needed for the transition.
I'm not surrendering because I'm not good at what I do. Nor am I doing so because I cannot be arsed to think about all this anymore, just because I am already leaving. In swallowing my pride and letting someone else take over, even though I'm not all that keen on the person, makes it easier for the members in the team to know who to turn to when problems arise. Our feud made it difficult for them to recognise a leader, and this wasn't fair to them. I don't want my prejudice of the person cloud my better judgment.
In a couple of weeks, I'll be finally making that transition official. As much as I want to leave for Melbourne to begin a new chapter of my life, it really is difficult saying goodbye to the people who have helped shaped who I am today. I've made some wonderful friendships; some have become one of my closest friends, who had been with me during my most difficult moments. My heart is heavy at the thought of leaving them.
I'll even miss the rat race. Imagine that. My next rat race will be in a totally new environment, with different people. Ambition keeps my brains from going mush. The passion of wanting to succeed. You know what I mean?
Changes. It can be a good thing if you let it be.
And I will.