A Chance At Happiness

I came upon this article as I was reading The Star online a week ago.

Simple Case of Birds and Bees

The article was about the controversial, same-sex union between Jessie Chung and Joshua Beh. Chung underwent three major operations to become a woman, having known from young that she was a woman, trapped in a man's body.

The article irked me, as I think it was rather unfair to stereotype Malaysians to be narrow-minded twits who could not accept such an affair. Not all Malaysians think it was wrong. I think it is perfectly all right for these two people to be married to each other. Of course we hold firmly to our culture and eastern values. But who are we to condemn this couple if what they’re looking for is only a chance at happiness?

Can you imagine how it would be like, for a person to feel trapped in his/her own body, led by society as to how they are supposed to live their lives, condemned by the same society when he/she finally has the courage to come out of his/her shell? Who are we to say how these people should live? A genetic disorder, an extra X or Y chromosome that transforms us to what we are, but deep inside, we could never be “normal”. I simply cannot imagine what it is like, but it seems to be a perpetual prison one cannot escape.

Never underestimate the things people do for love. This couple is going to be condemned by our rigid society for life, because they chose simply to throw the rulebook out of the window. In the eyes of religion, they are not a valid married couple. Yet, in the eyes of each other, that is exactly what they are.

This article reminded me of an episode of CSI which I watched (Episode 100 – Ch-Ch-Changes).　It portrayed a transsexual (previously male) who went through drastic measures just to be a woman. She fell in love with a man, who had no idea of her past. She even faked her period just to keep it real. She went through hours of therapy, because she was determined not to let her fiancé know what she was before. They have never had sexual relations, and she was worried about how he was going to receive her on their wedding night.

The episode did not show of her fiancé’s reaction when he was told of his fiancée’s condition (she was the victim in this episode, by the way). However, what struck a cord in me was not only this person’s story. The episode showed a lot of transsexuals who had problems going through life because society simply would not accept them as “normal”. They go through life, searching for love. When they finally find it, and when their partner cares not of their past, it is mankind who shuns them. What we see in CSI,　of course, is fiction, but it also reflects the reality of what is in the world today.

In the article, it was quoted “regardless of how pretty a sex change makes a man, he will never have the ‘exclusive’ right to be a wife, what more a mother.” What do you reckon by ‘exclusive’ right? What maketh a wife and a mother? The XX chromosome? What about single fathers everywhere who have to be a father AND a mother to their children? Does that make them unfit to care for their children?

I am not homophobic, nor am I pro-gays and lesbians. However, this couple has come a long way, especially Chung. Just give them a chance at the happiness that they deserve.