November 18, 2005

Eight More Days, People!

Mood of the moment – Bad. Very bad.

Is it so bad for me to WANT to be happy?

I had a pretty lousy day at work yesterday. To hold it out for another 8 days is becoming a major feat for me. Everyday I try very hard to find something to look forward to in order to endure another 24 hours. I can’t wait to go home to regain a sense of normalcy in my life, where I can ditch this pathetic, weepy, clingy, angry, schizophrenic, all-round bitch that I have become ever since I stepped foot in this country.

So I woke up this morning, determined to be optimistic, with new hopes that I shall be able to go through another day WITHOUT wanting to kill someone, without fears and without tears. The first hit of the day – I injured my thumb my accidentally slamming the door on it. It’s now bloody sore, with blood clots under my nail.

At the office, I’m challenged once again with the incompetence of those at home who do not do their jobs as told. Work is frustrating. The bundle of nerves, which I am constantly in, caused me to make a slip at the spur of the moment. Whiplash. I’m still waiting for it.

What’s that about Murphy’s Law, about anything that can go wrong will go wrong? Damn right it is. Well, bring it on. You hear me, world? I’m not afraid of you. How much more can you break me? That which does not kill me is going to wish it had because I’m so going to kick its sorry ass to kingdom come.

Sigh. I think I need therapy.

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