2006? *Sigh*

In just a day, we'll be welcoming the new year. Believe it or not, I'm really sad that the year's coming to an end, and that a new one's approaching fast. I guess it's because I'm turning 26 soon. And that really depresses me. I'm getting older, and yet, I have not accomplished anything. All in all, I think it was just a waste of a year.

Year 2005 has been a bad year for me, in many ways. Lest I bore you with the details, let's just say that I've done some pretty crazy things which I fully regret. I have never cried as much. It's been an emotional turmoil for me day after day, week after week, month after month. Suffice to say, I'm really tired. Lookit me. I've aged! :(

Perhaps 2006 may not hold such bad things for me. Yet, I'm not ready to have such hopes in fear of getting hurt and disappointed again. For the first time, I do not have any new year's resolutions. I'm just taking it a small step at a time. I'm keeping my fingers crossed.

So here's to 2006. May you not suck like 2005.

What Honour Is This?

It sickened me to read this:

Pakistani Killed Daughters to Save ‘Honor’

When will the world learn to stop treating their women as worthless chattels? What honour is there in killing your own flesh and blood? Do you wonder what went through the daughters’ minds when their father put his hand over their mouths and slit their throat with a machete? I wonder what went on the father’s mind. Or the mother’s. How blinded with rage was the father to descend to such a bestial nature.

My heart wept silently for the mother who had to witness her “honourable” husband slaughter her little girls in cold blood. May they rest in peace.

*Yawn*

Today’s one those days when I just don’t feel like doing anything. Absolutely no mood to work. I’ve been staring at the monitor for ages, staring at the multi-coloured lines of my simulation results … and I still had no idea what I was looking at. Argh. Guess I broke the “no blogging in the workplace” rule for today (blogging during lunch break and/or after office hours do not count).

It’s going to be a long afternoon *yawn*.

Somewhere Out There

Somewhere out there beneath the pale moonlight
Someone's thinking of me and loving me tonight
Somewhere out there someone's saying a prayer
That we'll find one another in that big somewhere out there

And even though I know how very far apart we are
It helps to think we might be wishing on the same bright star
And when the night wind starts to sing a lonesome lullaby
It helps to think we're sleeping underneath the same big sky

Somewhere out there if love can see us through
Then we'll be together somewhere out there
Out where dreams come true

'Twas The Night Before Christmas

'Twas the night before Christmas, when all through the house
not a creature was stirring, not even a mouse.
The stockings were hung by the chimney with care,
in hopes that St. Nicholas soon would be there.

The children were nestled all snug in their beds,
while visions of sugar plums danced in their heads.
And Mama in her 'kerchief, and I in my cap,
had just settled our brains for a long winter's nap.

When out on the roof there arose such a clatter,
I sprang from my bed to see what was the matter.
Away to the window I flew like a flash,
tore open the shutter, and threw up the sash.

The moon on the breast of the new-fallen snow
gave the lustre of midday to objects below,
when, what to my wondering eyes should appear,
but a miniature sleigh and eight tiny reindeer.

With a little old driver, so lively and quick,
I knew in a moment it must be St. Nick.
More rapid than eagles, his coursers they came,
and he whistled and shouted and called them by name:

"Now Dasher! Now Dancer!
Now, Prancer and Vixen!
On, Comet! On, Cupid!
On, Donner and Blitzen!
To the top of the porch!
To the top of the wall!
Now dash away! Dash away!
Dash away all!"

As dry leaves that before the wild hurricane fly,
when they meet with an obstacle, mount to the sky
so up to the house-top the coursers they flew,
with the sleigh full of toys, and St. Nicholas too.

And then, in a twinkling, I heard on the roof
the prancing and pawing of each little hoof.
As I drew in my head and was turning around,
down the chimney St. Nicholas came with a bound.

He was dressed all in fur, from his head to his foot,
and his clothes were all tarnished with ashes and soot.
A bundle of toys he had flung on his back,
and he looked like a peddler just opening his pack.

His eyes--how they twinkled! His dimples, how merry!
His cheeks were like roses, his nose like a cherry!
His droll little mouth was drawn up like a bow,
and the beard on his chin was as white as the snow.
The stump of a pipe he held tight in his teeth,
and the smoke it encircled his head like a wreath.
He had a broad face and a little round belly,
that shook when he laughed, like a bowl full of jelly.

He was chubby and plump, a right jolly old elf,
and I laughed when I saw him, in spite of myself.
A wink of his eye and a twist of his head
soon gave me to know I had nothing to dread.

He spoke not a word, but went straight to his work,
and filled all the stockings, then turned with a jerk.
And laying his finger aside of his nose,
and giving a nod, up the chimney he rose.

He sprang to his sleigh, to his team gave a whistle,
And away they all flew like the down of a thistle.
But I heard him exclaim, 'ere he drove out of sight,
"Happy Christmas to all, and to all a good night!"

- Clement Clarke Moore

Merry Christmas, y'all!

The Double-Edged Sword

Being an avid blog reader that I am (read - bloody kaypo), I frequently visit random blogs, and even blogroll them if they are interesting. I'm not ashamed to say that I do bookmark particularly notorious, controversial Malaysian and Singaporean blogs (I shall not link to them as they are already receiving as much publicity as they can get, but if you're another kaypo like me, you'll know who I'm talking about) and enjoy being a silent reader. Very seldom do I leave my mark on these sites, unless they really irk me.

Yet, as much as I enjoy visiting these sites, and waiting to see what these people are going to say next (I have to admit, six feet under all the expletives, these people do state some interesting points), I do wonder, what's the threshold of tolerance of one's words on the Internet? We are all accountable to what we say to the public, whether it's done verbally, or in writing because the words from our mouths AFFECT people, in ways small and large.

"Why play by the book?” you ask. "Can't we all just say what we think is true? Hey, it's my mouth, and I can say whatever I wish! Freedom of speech, y'all!" As much as we can deny it, or play it down, when freedom of speech is over-exercised, it can trigger a chain of events that may blow out of proportion.

Recently, a famous blogger commented on the politically incorrect words used for an upcoming holiday season. The person happened to touch on religion, which triggered a mixture of response in the blogosphere. This person's intention was not to attack any religion, rather, to poke fun at the exaggerated use of PC (politically correct) terms in the US. Unfortunately, the post brought about a lot of negativity in the readers, especially since certain religious terms were used. This caused a stir amongst a lot of people of different races. They appealed to the blogger to remove a certain controversial picture from the site, but the blogger remained adamant that he only stated what he believed in. This, of course, sparked an outrage amongst the readers, especially the ones of a certain race.

After reading the heated debate from commenters regarding that post, I can't help but wonder (and worry) about the repercussions of such an article. One may think that this is such a trivial matter now, but what happens if the mere discussion escalates to what could ultimately become a hate crime?

We have learnt from young, that religion is a touchy subject to discuss amongst people of different races and different beliefs, unless it is necessary. Even then, we have to choose our words carefully. It is difficult to maintain an open mind and heart when the debate escalates without the feeling of wanting to smack the other person and saying, "you don't know what you're talking about". At the end of the discussion, what is left is more of than not, an awkward silence. I am not saying that it is something that we should sweep under the carpet. We live in a multi-cultural society, which makes us unique. Harmony amongst the different races is essential to maintain the peace in our country. Embrace the difference and practise a little tact in our words.

Standing our ground with our words is one thing. Causing discord with our words which may lead to unwanted consequences is quite another. This may seem rather far-fetched to one, I know, but if my words could ultimately lead to the misfortune of others, I would rather shut up and keep them to myself. Call me a coward if you will, but I would rather treasure life than to fight for a cause which results in the mishap of others. A cause or a belief worth fighting for is one that cherishes life, not one that scorns it.

Having said all that, it does not mean that we are to be hermits, hiding under our comfortable little shells, and let the world step all over us. A little discernment and discretion go a long way. Words out of the mouth (or, in this case, onto a public blog) cannot be retrieved. We are not computers, which can "undo" the actions we did, or the things we said. Taking words back, unfortunately, means nothing. The damage is done.

Wars began from the words of a person. The tongue is a double-edged sword. It can make you, but it can also break you.

"Daddy, What's Santa Doing To Mummy?!"

This has GOT to be the most hilarious Christmas song I have ever heard.

"I saw Mommy kissing Santa Claus
Underneath the mistletoe last night
She didn't see me creep
Down the stairs to have a peep
She thought that I was tucked up
In my bedroom fast asleep
Then I saw Mummy tickle Santa Claus
Underneath his beard so snowy white
Oh what a laugh it would have been
If Daddy had only seen
Mommy kissing Santa Claus last night"


Try explaining to your child what Mummy's doing to the old, hairy geezer in the tacky red and white suit.

Geez.

PS: I'm not in a Christmas mood this year. Go away.

Still Here, By The Way

Realised I have not posted anything in a while. Still very much alive, just in case anyone thinks I've decided to crawl under the covers of my good ol' bed and not come out. It's just that nothing much has happened which I can talk about. Still, something's better than nothing, I guess.

Appearance-wise, I still look the same, other than gaining the odd pounds to compensate the lack of good food in Japan. I coloured my hair (AGAIN!) too, and it's now red. I told the hair stylist to give me a darker shade of red, but she managed a dark copper with gold highlights. Not my cuppa tea, as it is far too bright for my liking, but to salvage what hair I still have left from all the chemicals and heat work, I decided to leave it as it is. Oh, for the first time in years, I have a hint of bangs :)

A couple of Sundays ago, 'twas a movie marathon day for my friend and I. We watched The Chronicles of Narnia and Harry Potter: The Goblet of Fire. Yeps, two British kiddie movies in a day. The Chronicles of Narnia was okay, but it could have been better. It was rated G, which was perfect for the kiddies. I guess I'll start reading the book now ;) As for Harry Potter, I was surprised that it was rated G instead of PG13 as other countries have, because it is a much darker movie than the first three, and definitely NOT meant for children to watch. Amazing this was, I don't think that any part of the movie was censored for the kids' viewing pleasure (either that, or the censorship people's been doing a FANTASTIC job in lopping off scenes smoothly). All in all, I wouldn't rate it a 5-star movie, but I'll admit that the CGI was good, and that I'll definitely be waiting for the next one.

On a more materialistic note, I bought a new mobile phone. It's a Panasonic VS7, and I got it at RM1000. Quite a good buy too, given that the market price is about RM1400. Again, the wonders of online shopping. The 2 mega-pixel camera would have done my photographs better justice, but with a CMOS lens, there's only so much I can squeeze out of the camera. It's also a lot bigger than other conventional phones available in the market, but I'm done with tiny screens (my current phone's screen's a whopping 2.5") and even tinier keypads. Mum's been eyeing the phone I bought too, since the numbers and text are huge. Better for her eyes, bless her.

On an even more materialistic note, our annual bonus is out. Did pretty okay this year, no complaints there. Still, there's going to be no spending on the money; they're all going into my travel/car/house fund. I transferred 80% of the bonus into an untouchable account as soon as the money was in. Talk about self-perseverance! ;)

My First Blood Test

I finally pulled myself together and had my very first blood test. I had never done it before, and the large needles just freaked the hell out of me. What about watching your own blood flowing out of you into a tube? Eeeuww, gross!

My heart thumped hard when I was about to have blood drawn out of me. I'm ashamed to say that I made a little fuss out of it too. I told the person who was about to draw blood out of me to do it quick, to not let me see the blood, etc. After the whole incident was over, I guess I was fretting over nothing. It definitely hurt a lot less than regular injections on the arm.

To sum it up - Drawing blood? Heck, it was a piece of piss! *grin*

Worst part? Waiting for the results. Fingers-crossed, I'm as healthy as a horse.