November 22, 2007

I Don't Want Your Friends

Broken flower

I don't get it.

What is your definition of a true friend?

Someone who indulges you in self-pity, even though it was you who was wrong in the first place? Or one who tells you to wake up, face the cold, hard facts but is there to help pull you out of the hole?

How can you tell me that the friends whom you deemed as people who will go all out for you to be the ones who lets you sink in your own depression? Indulge you in your own self-pity as if the whole world is against you? Have you not been telling them the truth about what truly happened? Do you think they'd still be on your side once they know the truth? Or are you afraid they'll leave you too if they knew?

I don't get it. I really don't.


Kamigoroshi said...

Friendship is built on needs. What you need them for. What they need you for.

It's built on trust. Trust to watch your back. Trust that you'll watch theirs.

It's built on conviction. To stand by in spite of themselves. To stand fast in spite of yourself.

It's built on yourselves. What you do best being you. What they shouldn't do most being someone they are not.

Some days, you can't tell people who aren't going to listen. More so those who aren't there to listen. I've been burned enough to have experienced the fact that you can really be alone without anyone willing to watch your back or be kind enough to ask you what would cheer you up.

Maybe you don't get it because you're lucky enough to be surrounded by people who care and love you enough to show it. There are some people out there that don't have that luxury. Cherish what you have with all your heart.

I think it's a good thing that you don't get it. Your world might be a whole lot different if you did. :)

Jemima said...

We inherit our relatives & our features & may not escape them; but we can select our clothing & our friends, & let us be careful that both fit us.

Thank you for being such a caring friend.. both you & Tim.


p/s Thanks for your email. Will reply at soonest. ;)

pelf said...

I've learned not to long ago that those people you call "friends" will only be with you through laughters and happiness. Not through tears.

Sad, but that's the truth :(

Mayni said...

I think it's both. You need the denial friend to be there when you're in the disbelief stage, and the wake up call friend to pull yourself together when the time comes.

I think C would be the comforting one, and I would be the wake up call

Tine said...

Kamigoroshi: Yeah, I do agree. Like I told you on MSN, I would see the world differently if I did get the TRUE meaning of friendship. It just baffles me on how difficult it can be, how manipulative.

A friend once told me (a good friend, in fact) - "Friendship is based on people using each other for their own good. A symbiotic relationship, if you will".

And the reality is that it IS true. No matter how cold it sounds.


Jemima: True true. Thanks for being a caring friend too :)

Pelf: Yeah. Ain't that a kick in the you-know-where :(

Mayni: Hahaha, well, I appreciate the wake-up-call friend in you, because you give me the cold, hard facts. And that's important too. Too much of a comfort (not talking about C, but just on the whole) just leaves one in their fantasy world.

daphne said...

i'm those type who would give the cold hard truth. my friends definitely don't seek comfort or honeyed words in/from me. haha