Office Dos and Don'ts

There are just a few things you just don't do at the office:

1. Listen to classical music in the afternoon, right after lunch (unless you want to show your boss the best way to give you the boot for sleeping on the job, listen to Black Eyed Peas* or something).
2. Read funny blogs - not such a good idea when you're biting your lips and tongue till blood spew out of your mouth to control your laughter, and your colleague sitting opposite you starts to think that you're possessed, and speed-dials his psychic (I think the dude sitting opposite me is contemplating that `cos he kept giving me weird looks. Either that, or both his eyes are lazy).
3. Chat with the clerks in the restroom during their "breaks" - ladies, it's the TOILET. It's where you do numbers 1 and 2. There are perfectly good chairs by the vending machines. How about you do bitching about over there, and let me use the loo.

But then again, this you can do at the office:

1. Read funny blogs - those circuit simulations take ages, see? That dude had better get used to the blood frothing at my mouth.
2. Coffee, coffee, coffee - man, the afternoons can just drag on ...
3. Take frequent walks - hours of sitting at your desk and staring at the monitor just isn't healthy. The company doesn't want you to end up suing them now, do they? Just make sure you carry a folder or a book (work-related, please), in case you bump into the boss-man, and you can say "Oh, I was actually looking for you. Do you know ...[add technical mumbo jumbo here] ... ?" Chances are, he'll give you a blank look, and then ask you to check with your colleagues (Ker-ching! Breaktime! Bring out the snacks!).

I have a lot more to share*, but let's save that for another day. I just realised that none of these have anything to do with actual work, but hey, let him/her/other who's without sin cast the first stone.

* I don't actually listen to Black Eyed Peas; it was the first thing that popped my mind.

** I shall not be held liable if any of these renders one jobless. Me included.