August 23, 2005

When Things Change

Lately, I've been going through a turmoil of emotions, which I cannot control. Call me hormonal and paranoid even, but somehow, I feel that things around me have changed. The people around me has changed, circumstances are different. The warmth I used to feel is gone, which leaves me in a ball of confusion. I just don't understand.

And then I started to think, was it me who changed? Did I bring upon these changes? Or, is everyone and everything else just the same? What did I do wrong? Why the sudden feelings of insecurity?

Day after day, I feel the walls closing in on me. I wake up to the world in a facade, which is exhausting. In the depths of the night, in the comfort of my room, I remove the mask.

And all I see is an empty shell.



6 comments:

Anonymous said...

important thing, screw the rest of the world. as long as we know what is right in our heart

Anonymous said...

We cannot be happy
if we expect to live all the time at the highest peak of intensity.
Happiness is not a matter of intensity,
but of balance and order and rhythm and harmony

-- Thomas Merton

Tine said...

Sometimes, what we perceive to be right may be wrong in the eyes of others. Do we then judge ourselves, or let others judge us?

Anonymous said...

on judgement,
"The complete truth is not the prerogative of the human judge."
- Judge Meir Shamgar

"Experience does not ever err; it is only your judgement that errs in promising itself results which are not caused by your experiments."
- Leonardo Da Vinci (1452 - 1519)

"I got a fortune cookie that said, To remember is to understand. I have never forgotten it. A good judge remembers what it was like to be a lawyer. A good editor remembers being a writer. A good parent remembers what it was like to be a child."
- Anna Quindlen

Tine said...

The memories of the bitter experiences brings grievances which are better off forgotten. How then, do we siphon the good memories from the bad?

Adrian said...

Life goes on. Move on, and all will follow. When one realises that the sun does rise still every morning, and that our petty bitterness pales in comparison to what our lives are actually worth. One needs not a million reasons to give up, but only one reason to carry on living, and that reason is just to live. Stop looking around through the shroud. Wake up. Or I'll kick you up. :)