I was just reading Kamigoroshi's entry on The Perfect Triangle Of Not Writing a Personal Post, and I couldn't help but think, "that's me".
It is true that my better entries are written when I am deep in emotion, and that whatever I write is a reflection of how I was feeling then. I do not normally churn out a lot of words when I blog, but when I am feeling strongly about something, out comes a 600++-word essay.
I've been so bogged down by personal issues lately, that this would be a great time for me to write karangan upon karangan, but at this very moment, I'm simply lost for words. To put the thoughts and feelings into words is like going back in time to when it all happened. And it really isn't something I can do just now.
Sometimes I think that's the difficulty for me, to keep a diary and continue writing on it because as much as I love filling it with words of happy memories, sifting through the bad ones made me feel worse than I already was feeling. When all I wanted to do was to escape the bad memories.
Perhaps in time when all is resolved, and when everyone has moved on with their lives, I shall finally be able to write them down without feeling melancholic. By then, the words would be seasoned, and when the words are no longer filled with raw emotions, I can finally say I knew him when.
It is true that my better entries are written when I am deep in emotion, and that whatever I write is a reflection of how I was feeling then. I do not normally churn out a lot of words when I blog, but when I am feeling strongly about something, out comes a 600++-word essay.
I've been so bogged down by personal issues lately, that this would be a great time for me to write karangan upon karangan, but at this very moment, I'm simply lost for words. To put the thoughts and feelings into words is like going back in time to when it all happened. And it really isn't something I can do just now.
Sometimes I think that's the difficulty for me, to keep a diary and continue writing on it because as much as I love filling it with words of happy memories, sifting through the bad ones made me feel worse than I already was feeling. When all I wanted to do was to escape the bad memories.
Perhaps in time when all is resolved, and when everyone has moved on with their lives, I shall finally be able to write them down without feeling melancholic. By then, the words would be seasoned, and when the words are no longer filled with raw emotions, I can finally say I knew him when.
7 comments:
It's always about that raw emotion that makes all the difference. Some people are uncomfortable baring it all. Some are. It's just how we decide to write them down. Because either way when those emotions have faded into something more controlled, the words that come out of us are a little more different, more reserved and less natural.
Hmm...that's why I still think generally women write better because they are more relational and expressive. Take care!
I think we female species are so much alike.. ;)
Oooh.. I love your layout! Love the butterflies too!!! =)
I get what you mean though. This past few days has been kinda dry for me. And it's not that I don't have anything to write. It's just I cant see to put it into words. It's so weird and saddening too! =(
Take care now!
Kamigoroshi: I guess this depends on individuals, on whether they are more comfortable opening up at that very moment when their emotions are going haywire. I find this dangerous at times, as that would be the time when it's a "all hell break loose" thing where they write anything that comes to their mind, which they may regret the very next day. On your diary, yeah, why not, you're the only one reading it. But on a blog, well ... when our emotions are an open book to the world, we tend to feel more vulnerable :)
Pablopabla: Haha, yeah, I do agree. Although I wouldn't discount male writers too, as I've seen pretty good ones.
Jemima: Amen sistah! :P
Princess Shin: Hey thanks for dropping by. I love butterfly motives, but can't stand the .. err ... insect? (gosh, what's a butterfly??)
I think you just need some time to gather your thoughts. It doesn't have to be immediately. The juices will flow :)
You take care too!
Well at least for me it's easier to tell someone whom you'll never meet than to tell someone you see everyday. Then again, that's the secret of having a personal blog. Our strength is in our words.
You can tell people what happened and still have no one else but you know what really happened. It's just the way you write it. Good personal bloggers often enough have reached that level of writing.
Tell a story, just tell it as a perspective. :)
Kamigoroshi: Well spoken words. It's true, most of the time, it's the way you write it that I can say what I want without being too transparent.
I have much to learn :)
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