2007 - The Year That Was

In five days, 2007 will come to a close, and on to a new year. Golly, where has the time gone? I'm not one who makes New Year resolutions because I break them. I'd tell myself I'd do this, and I'd do that, and come the end of the year, I'd be "shucks, oh well, next year then".

2007 was a whirlwind of a year for me. Things were happening so fast before I draw in a breath and say woah. Highlights of my year:

• I got engaged (no fancy-schmancy proposal, but I was still happier than a bunny on crack).
• Went to Melbourne, and celebrated my birthday with Tim for the first time. I know I didn't blog about that trip (sorry babes, I know you were so looking forward to reading it, but I just didn't get around to finishing it. I still have the draft, you know :p), but that was the very first time he wrote me a song, and sang to me on my birthday.
• I planned a wedding. Very stressful period for me; it still is, but I simply can't wait to see everything fall into place when the day of the wedding comes.
• I got married. Well, technically, Tim and I registered our marriage. The wedding's yet to come.
• I have a 2-year provisional visa to Australia (seriously, if anyone was to ask me before if I would ever migrate to Australia, I would have flatly said no. I wanted to return to the UK, y'see).
• I threw in the towel and resigned from my job to move to Melbourne.

That's my 2007. Lots of laughter, lots of tears. Lots of OMG-get-the-hell-outta-my-face-you-turd moments. Lots of new lines on my face (*gulp*). Lots of love. Mostly, it gave me lots of hope for the coming year.

So here's to you, 2007. It's been a great year, and I wouldn't change any of it for the world. And to 2008, here's to a new chapter in life, in a new place.

Cheers!

Feliz Navidad 2007!

Dear friends,

It's the most wonderful time of the year.
There'll be much mistletoeing
and hearts will be glowing,
when loved ones are near.
It's the most wonderful time of the year.

A very blessed Christmas and season's greetings to all, and here's to a smashin' new year!

Love,
Tine & Tim

PS: We'll do a proper holiday card next year ;)

O Christmas Tree, O Christmas Tree

Behold our 6-feet, themeless and over-decorated Christmas tree!

Gaudy in many ways, but for some reason, I like it. In a way, it's a good thing we never did do a colour theme, or else we won't be able to buy the Christmas baubles we'd really want, I mean, having to stick to a specific theme and all.

Anyhoos, it's pretty much my last Christmas at home, unless we plan to come back for Christmas in the years to come. I doubt it though, as we may not be able to come back for Chinese New Year given how close the two festive seasons are. Mum kept rubbing it in that she'll be losing me soon. I'm like, err, I'm just moving away; I'm not dying.

"Aiya, same what. My daughter's leaving me soon ... sigh ... "

Golly, it all does sound pretty melancholic, doesn't it?

On a lighter note, I've got one more Christmas pressie to get, and that's for Dad. It's funny that I can never think of what to get for him for Christmas. I mean, heck, you'd think I'd have years of experience already, but I still can't think of what to get for him. Any ideas?

Last minute Christmas eve shopping. Man, I'm really pushing it, aren't I? *gulp*

My New Favourite Author

I just finished another book by Cecelia Ahern, and I have to say, I'm totally in love with her books. Come to think about it, I haven't done the whole read-the-book-from-cover-to-cover-in-one-day in a long time now, but I finished Where Rainbows End in 8 hours today. And I absolutely LOVED it.

Can't wait to get my mitts on another one :p

*sigh dreamily*

I'm On A Christmas Break!

Whee, my Christmas break has started. Will be on leave till December 25. A very long weekend for me, which is good, 'cos I still haven't started on my Christmas shopping! Oh boy, oh boy, oh boy. Instead of just a wedding registry, people should have Christmas registries, or birthday registries, etc. Makes it so much easier to figure out on what to get!

Okay people, what do you want for Christmas? Remember now, I'm no fairy godmother. But I'll try ;)

Where's mine, by the way? *looking around*

PS: Oh, and I've just finished reading Cecelia Ahern's PS I Love You. Fantastic book. I cried buckets. It's also been made into a movie, which I heard is quite far from the book. Oh well. Figures. Gerald Butler's smokin' HOT though *lick lips*.

Bonus Is In!

It's 5.54pm and I'm still stuck at the office. Hey, for someone who's about to leave, that's very late, k?

My annual bonus came in today. Considering the fact that I'm about to cabut real soon, I'm pretty pleased with what I received. And you know where all this money is going to go? No shopping for nice-nice stuff for meself, no sirree.

My air ticket to Melbourne, and a shitload of credit card bills (biggest percentage was to settling the final payments for the bridal portraits). And then some.

Gah :(

So, what are you going to be doing with your bonus? Save it for a rainy day? Splurge on a holiday? Do indulge and make me jealous.

It's A Wet Friday & I Ain't Happy

I just realised it's 27 more days before I leave my workplace, and go on a temporary break (I said temporary because contrary to what a lot of people think, I DO intend to continue working once I'm in Australia. But gimme a break, ya? I know I deserve it). Most of the time, I really do feel heavy-hearted to leave, but there are also times when I just can't wait to get the hell out.

What I'm Going To Miss

• My peeps. I've made some beautiful friendships with some of my colleagues (a few of whom are now some of my closest friends), and it's them whom I'm going to miss the most *sob*.
• The comfortable working environment. Working there for 4 years has earned me at least some sort of recognition amongst my peers and seniors, and even though I don't have me own cubicle, I do like my big workbench. And my PC (I'm so going to miss my 19" monitor. I know it may be small to some, but it's huge to me, and it was all mine). And my comfy chair.
• The rush in adrenaline when having hot debates with the managers during meetings, and the brainstorming sessions with my girls. It keeps my brains working and from going mush.

What I'm NOT Going To Miss

• The ridiculous policies that we had to adhere to, which proves no productivity nor any good, but we all have do it because it's the RULES. Sigh. So what else is new, eh?
• The idiot in my office, who is giving me more grief day after day. To say I detest him is an understatement. He's what I'd call an irritating fly, which I'd dearly love to swat. Sometimes I wish I had a wittier tongue when it comes to dealing with him. I just can't believe the number of times I actually let him get away with his words with me :(
• Dealing with incompetent people. Many a time, other than tearing my hair out, I just wanted to ask them if they were born stupid. Really.

Sigh ... it's just one of those days in which I wished I was out of here sooner.

Happy gloomy and wet Friday, folks.

To the idiot, thanks for ruining my Friday, jackass.

A Christmas Card

Oooh, whaddya know, my very first Christmas card from a blogger pal!

Thanks very much, dear Jemima, for the lovely Christmas card you sent Tim and I. I actually haven't even gotten to my Christmas shopping yet (let alone cards *sigh*), but keep a look out for yours next week ;)

The Unexpected Wedding Gift

Today I received something which I never expected to get.

A wedding angpow from THE ex.

I didn't know how to react. It was so strange. I could sense his heavy heart when he handed it over to me. He said that he might as well gave it to me now lest he "forgets".

I knew he was lying.

I remembered the many tears I cried when I gave him one when he got married. In fact, I couldn't even give it to him face-to-face; I had a good friend hand the red packet to him. He never did thank me for that packet. Perhaps he thought it too awkward then.

The amount I received was the exact amount I gave him, including the red packet I gave him when his son was born.

Would this mean that we no longer owe each other anything?

I truly do not know.

Sigh

Sometimes the most unexpected person to piss you off about your wedding can be the most hurtful.

:(

How Safe Are Bloggers Outside The World Wide Web?

What with the current rise of crimes in Malaysia, this has been bogging my mind for quite some time now. And quite frankly, it scares me.

Have you ever thought of how safe bloggers are when we're "offline"?

It's amazing of how much we subconsciously reveal to the world via the Internet. Through our words, we are read like an open book. We post pictures of ourselves on our blogs (some of us in skimpy bikinis, even). We post photographs of our children, our spouse, our family, our house, etc. We pretty much revealed to the world.

Are we safe?

We have flame wars with other bloggers on the Internet over sensitive matters such as religion, socio-political issues, etc. What if someone crosses the line and physically take that anger out on the real world?

Again, are we safe?

How different are the so-called celebrity bloggers from the local celebrities? Both are widely photographed and widely talked about (not in pay, I'd imagine :p).

Are these celeb bloggers safe too?

I once came across an article in a local magazine, which featured a very popular lady blogger. However, in the article, it was not mentioned that she was a blogger, just an average jane who won a competition. But I recognised her from the many photographs she posted of herself on her blog. Her real name was not mentioned in her blog, but in the article, her full name was published.

Anonymity is dead, people.

It's not difficult to find out where a blogger lives when he/she post photographs of their house, of the surroundings, etc. By following their blogs, the photographs could tell me where you live and where you work. By looking at the photographs you post of your living room, I know what valuables you have. By reading your journal, I know where you have been, and where you will be.

We're getting more and more recognised by any Tom, Dick and Sally with Internet access. With our blogs, our lives become someone else's life. We witnessed one's heartbreak, one's loss of a job, one's wedding, one's birth of a child, to one's death. Yet, we do not personally know them.

When we religiously follow another person's blog, do we come to a point where we get angry if he/she does not update often? Rejected if he/she leaves and stops blogging altogether? Have we then subconsciously become stalkers?

Having said all this, with our lives open for the world to see, could we also unwittingly become open targets for crimes?

What do you think?

C'est Si Bon

Photo: agaw.dilim

C'est si bon,
De partir n'importe ou,
Bras dessus bras dessous,
En chantant des chansons,

C'est si bon,
De se dir' des mots doux,
Des petites rien du tout,
Mais qui en disent long
- C'est si bon

Vous vas blah, blah bleu blah *spit spit*

This is what happens when you listen to too many French songs at work ... *sigh*

PS: Don't ask me if I'm going there for my honeymoon. Gua pun tak tau.

One Of Those Days

I believe I'm not the only one who looked at the blogging platform page, clicked on Create New Post, and then stared at the screen because I just do not know what the heck to blog about. Or am I?

I'm having one of those days. It's not like I don't have anything to write, I just do not have the heart to do so. The same goes for my beauty and wedding blog. This is a classic example of what they call biting off more than you can chew. Sigh.

Okay, gotta shake this laziness off.

Think, Tine, think!

.
.
.
.

Don't reckon you'd be interested in knowing what I had for breakfast, lunch and dinner instead? :p

Example Of A Last-Day-of-Work Letter

I received this via email from an ex-colleague of mine (who was also my mentor for a couple of years). Since he knew that I was already going to leave, he thought I might want to send this out on my last day of work.

Note: I modified the letter a little to fit me :P


Dear All ,

As many of you probably know, today is my last day. But before I leave, I wanted to take this opportunity to let you know what a great and distinct pleasure it has been to type 'Today is my last day.'

For nearly as long as I've worked here, I've hoped that I might one day leave this company. And now that this dream has become a reality, please know that I could not have reached this goal without your unending lack of support. Words cannot express my gratitude for the words of gratitude you did not express.

I would especially like to thank all of my managers: in an age where miscommunication is all too common, you consistently impressed and inspired me with the sheer magnitude of your misinformation. It takes a strong man to admit his mistake - it takes a stronger man to attribute his mistake to me.

Over the past four years, you have taught me more than I could ever ask for and, in most cases, ever did ask for. I have been fortunate enough to work with some absolutely interchangeable supervisors on a wide variety of seemingly identical projects - an invaluable lesson in overcoming daily tedium in overcoming daily tedium in overcoming daily tedium.

Your demands were high and your patience short, but I take great solace knowing that my work was, as stated on my annual review, 'mostly satisfactory.' That is the type of praise that sends a woman home happy after even a 10 hour day, smiling her way through half a bottle of mostly satisfactory scotch.

And to most of my peers: even though we barely acknowledged each other within these office walls, I hope that in the future, should we pass on the street, you will regard me the same way as I regard you: sans eye contact.

So, in parting, if I could pass on any word of advice to the individual who will soon be filling my position, it would be to cherish this experience like a sponge and soak it up like a good woman, because a job opportunity like this comes along only once in a lifetime.

Meaning: if I had to work here again in this lifetime, I would sooner kill myself.

Very truly yours,

Tine


You know what?

I just might ;)

Why Do You Blog?

Pablo Pabla came up with a writing project where we are to answer three questions (as below) about blogging. I thought it was quite interesting (I love writing projects!), so here it goes.


1. Why do you blog?

I jumped onto the blogging bandwagon in May 2005 when I saw that everyone was doing it. Yep, herd mentality, and I sank right to it :p When I first started blogging, only a few friends and family knew about the blog. I didn't make it public until about a year later.

I was apprehensive about letting strangers read my life like an open book, but I never regretted that move, for I made so many new friends because of it. My cousins and I grew closer because of our blogs (previously it would be a sporadic email or two, and annual meetings during Chinese New Year). Keeping in touch with friends who live so far away also became easier.

I started the beauty blog, Beautyholics Anonymous, two years later, in May 2007. This was with the encouragement from fellow blogger, Paris, who was and still is my source of inspiration. The beauty blog feeds the vain side of me. The bit of pocket money I made from that blog helped too :p


2. What do you hope to achieve by blogging?

Golly, I've never really thought of what I'd hope to achieve from blogging. I love writing; well, a more accurate description would be to simply say what my heart and mind are feeling and thinking. I'd like to say that I've grown in the past couple of years when I first began. Emotionally, and in my style of writing.

I did not write to gain any sort of recognition, nor do I write to entertain. It's simply ME.

I'd love to be able to write better. There are so many brilliant bloggers out there who struck a chord in me with just their wit and words. That's what I'd love to do. I have a long way to go, of course, and I hope I'm heading in the right direction.


3. How much time do you spend a day doing blogging related work (as described above)?

Hmm ... it can take from 10 minutes to days, even weeks, before I come up with an entry. I'd draft an entry at work (shh! When I'm free, of course) on Notepad, add and amend to it intermittently during the day, before it's posted. I like to read it many times before it's published on the Internet. What can I say, I'm a perfectionist :p

More heartfelt entries normally take a few days to write. These are usually the more difficult ones to write compared to tags, updates, etc. Believe it or not, writing such posts have invoked tears and a whole lot of emotion to the words.


There ya go. I don't know when I'd stop (there will come a time when I will stop, as all good things will come to an end), but till then, I'm keeping my fingers crossed for better things to come :)

Scary Movies? No Thanks!

I'm going to let you in on a little secret.

I am a HUGE CHICKEN when it comes to horror movies. I can't take gore (these images will stay in my head for years; I know because my mind can still conjure some pretty horrific pictures which I had the misfortune to come across), and I do not like the sudden loud sounds which make me jump out of my skin.

Me likey comedies, whether they are romantic, slapstick, or just downright stupid. Any sort of feel-good movies are fine by me. Hmmmm .... *dream of Hugh Jackman for a bit* ... *drool* ...

Anyhoos.

Paris asked me about the scary movies I've watched, and even though I hardly watched any, here are a few which stuck in my head till now. Here goes nothing ...

*Theme from the Twilight Zone in the background*

Gremlins
Hey, it was scary to me, k? Especially when the cute lil' furballs turn into mutants when they got wet or fed after midnight. *shudder*

The Ring
This would be the original Japanese one, not the Hollywood rubbish. I remembered watching it when I was in Dundee, in the dark, all of us huddled on one bed, in front of a 14" telly. The pillow and my fingers were most of what I watched that night.

Exorcism of Emily Rose
Okay, I really didn't want to watch this one. I was in Japan when I watched this. My Jappy friend wanted to watch this, but I didn't. Too bad for me, another colleague wanted to watch this as well, so majority won. This movie seriously scared the bejeezus out of me. Especially the part where the boyfriend woke up and suddenly saw his possessed girlfriend on the floor going berserk. That was some real scary shit. I had to change the position of my clock to face the wall, because I was afraid to look at the time (in case it was 3am. If you watched the movie, you'd know what I mean). I daren't even wake up to pee in the middle of the night!

So yeah, no horror films for me please. My heart cannot take it leh.

Beetrice and Kim, what are your scary-till-they-make-you-wanna-pee-in-your-pants movies?

I Don't Want Your Friends

I don't get it.

What is your definition of a true friend?

Someone who indulges you in self-pity, even though it was you who was wrong in the first place? Or one who tells you to wake up, face the cold, hard facts but is there to help pull you out of the hole?

How can you tell me that the friends whom you deemed as people who will go all out for you to be the ones who lets you sink in your own depression? Indulge you in your own self-pity as if the whole world is against you? Have you not been telling them the truth about what truly happened? Do you think they'd still be on your side once they know the truth? Or are you afraid they'll leave you too if they knew?

I don't get it. I really don't.

36 Days To Christmas

I'm so in the Christmas mood now. 36 days to Christmas. I know, 'cos my Christmas tree on Facebook tells me so.

See the lack of pressies next to the tree? Be nice, and send me some lah, even though I can't actually have it :p

My Ticket To Freedom

I know Geekchic beat me to it, but I just can't resist.

Okay okay, I know it's NOT even a PR visa (provisional visa means I have multiple travel access to Australia for two years until my permanent residency on spouse visa is approved) , but still ... like GeekChic calls it, it's a step to freedom :p

Domesticated? Yes. Housewife? Erm, No.

As time draws near to the day that I'll be leaving for good, I've been thinking a lot of what I'm going to do when I'm in Melbourne, whilst settling in and looking for a job. I reckon I'd be Australia's sampah masyarakat for three months or so (hopefully no more than that, but you never know), so I have to get myself prepared with things to do whilst I'm at home, and that hubby's away at work.

So far, I've been collecting a lot of recipes of stuff I want to try out, 'cos by the time I move over, I'd finally have a kitchen of my own. I loved cooking when I was in Japan; having my very own kitchen, where I know where every single thing is, rocks. What with the variety of ingredients I can get there, methinks I might be able to be adventurous and try out new recipes.

I'll also be packing my cross-stitch kit with me. Imagine, I was such a tomboy during my early secondary school days, who can't cook (I burnt the rice, broke the eggshells into the pan with the eggs, dropped tomatoes ... you get the picture) and can't sew (Mum did all my needlepoint projects for me). Now, I can proudly say that I can cook ... well, not enough to make a 10-course gourmet meal, but enough to get by. I also can knit (only scarves, but hey, it's an achievement!), and I love doing cross-stitch.

This took me only a few hours to do. Simple and sweet. Thought it'd be cute in our new home :)

People kept telling me that I'll end up being a housewife in Australia. Now, before y'all think I'm housewives-bashing here, do bear in mind that I have immense respect for homemakers; I mean, heck, just take a look at our prominent bloggers who are homemakers - 5xmom from Malaysia, Karen Cheng from Australia, etc. These are no ordinary women, and certainly figures whom I greatly admire.

I guess, for me, I'm just not ready to give up the rat race just yet. After all, I'm still young. I've only been in the working world for four years. As my parents would say, I'm still "mentah". We're planning to begin a family only in a couple of years (although there is no 100% foolproof plan for this ... *gulp*), and in between, I'd love to continue to work. When the next chapter of our lives happen, then we'll see how things go from there.

For now, I wouldn't mind myself a bit of a break and get on my hobby kit ;)

Text Message/Email Reply Etiquette

How do you normally reply your text messages and emails? Do you keep 'em short and sweet, or do a 500-word essay?

I am notorious for writing long, essay-like emails (well, most of the time anyway). I like to write them as though I'm actually speaking to the person, and everyone knows what a talkative person I am. But there is one type of reply which I absolutely detest, and they are one-worded replies.

"Hey how about lunch today?"

"OK"

or

"Shall we go to that restaurant again next week? The food's quite nice"

"Ya"

Seriously, this irks the hell out of me. I mean, come on. Have the courtesy to write or text a little bit more. "Sure no problem" or "Okay, that'd be fine" or something like that would have been a lot better than a single OK.

The ex did this, and I remembered how absolutely pissed off I'd be when I get such replies. And whenever I talked to him about this, all I got was a shrug and four words - "My nature, cannot change". What a load of rubbish. It's rude, that's what it is.

I'm so glad Tim doesn't give me that nonsense. His replies are short, no doubt, but never curt, never rude. Even when we're bickering with each other. My friends have proper text message/email reply etiquette too. Thank God for that.

There's no need for double standards when replying your emails or text messages to your friends, compared to what you write to your bosses. If you can reply nicely to the big man, you can do so to your family and friends as well. One-worded replies are forgivable when you're busy or indisposed, and cannot manage to write more. Other than that, I feel that it's inexcusable.

What do you think?

It's Done

I finally did it. Given a year ago, I wouldn't even have thought of doing it just yet, but I did it. Yesterday.

I tendered my resignation.

I was expecting a bit of drama from the big man, but there was ... nothing. I mean, yeah, my boss already knew I was leaving and all that, but come on, a token of sadness would have been nice. I left his desk feeling rather unappreciated.

Oh well. Nothing I can do about it now. I've got other things to think about anyway.

Still.

Come on! Look sad a bit lah! Bluff-bluff counteroffer me a bit lah! Grrr!

I'm Baaaack!

Missed me? ;)

Man, the past week was exhausting, but so great, 'cos I managed to get so many things done. Oh oh, and I've finally gotten my Australian provisional visa in just five days! I mean, yeah, it was a lot of hassle (many thanks to my father-in-law, who unfortunately became our *ahem* "driver" for the week), and a whole load of documents to submit, but seeing the visa sticker on my passport on the last day made it all worthwhile. Woot!

Time spent with Tim alone wasn't much, as we had a lot of family obligations to attend to. But it was so good seeing him again. Finally get to spend some time with hubby *grin*. It wasn't so bad leaving him this time, for we know the next time he's back (which is for the wedding), I'll be leaving with him to Australia for good.

I'll talk more about the wedding stuff we did over at our wedding blog. Golly, it's been ages since I've updated that one. Can you believe it, a couple of months ago, I wasn't even excited about the wedding, what with stress at work, visa applications and, of course, the wedding stuff, but now ... it seems like a whole load's been lifted off my shoulders. And I'm now so excited about it.

Tee hee hee!

Short Hiatus - Off To KL

Well folks, I'm off to KL tomorrow to see Tim. And to kao tim the visa application thingy. And also to get my wedding shoes (wheee!!). Keep your fingers (and toes, if you can spare 'em) for us that all will go well, ya?

See y'all in a week (will give y'all an update then), and happy Friday!

Letting Go Can Be A Good Thing

The office politics I was ranting about a couple of weeks ago have somewhat settled. I've finally conceded and am finally mentally prepared to surrender my position as a project leader to someone else (even though I'm officially still one, in the organisation chart, up to the point when I leave for good).

Learning to let go is not easy. It was not easy in letting go of a relationship, and it certainly was not easy to let go of my hard-earned position at work either. Yet, in doing so, it made life a lot easier for me, and I'm finally letting the bugger in to help me out with the leadership of the team. Again, in doing so, he sensed my relenting, and he backed off and gave me the space I needed for the transition.

I'm not surrendering because I'm not good at what I do. Nor am I doing so because I cannot be arsed to think about all this anymore, just because I am already leaving. In swallowing my pride and letting someone else take over, even though I'm not all that keen on the person, makes it easier for the members in the team to know who to turn to when problems arise. Our feud made it difficult for them to recognise a leader, and this wasn't fair to them. I don't want my prejudice of the person cloud my better judgment.

In a couple of weeks, I'll be finally making that transition official. As much as I want to leave for Melbourne to begin a new chapter of my life, it really is difficult saying goodbye to the people who have helped shaped who I am today. I've made some wonderful friendships; some have become one of my closest friends, who had been with me during my most difficult moments. My heart is heavy at the thought of leaving them.

I'll even miss the rat race. Imagine that. My next rat race will be in a totally new environment, with different people. Ambition keeps my brains from going mush. The passion of wanting to succeed. You know what I mean?

Changes. It can be a good thing if you let it be.

And I will.

Finally, An End To The Week

Thank God the weekend's almost here. I've been so busy and stressed out of my eyeballs lately.

I've got a week before Tim is back in Malaysia for a short 1-week break, and I have to get all my documents and forms sorted out before I lodge my Australian visa application at the Australian High Commission in KL the following Monday. There's just so much to do, so much evidence to give. Apparently a marriage certificate just isn't enough.

Well, to be fair, I figured as much as to prevent marriages of convenience in order to get an Australian visa. But still! Having to submit copies of very personal letters we exchanged during our period of separation, and to have an Tom, Dick or Sally read 'em, just gives me the heebie-jeebies. Thank goodness we didn't exchange anything naughty in our cards (we kept those for *ahem* other times. Tee hee!).

"Aiyoooo ... lu tengok dia ni orang tulis apa?? Lu tengok, lu tengok!" (look at what they're writing! Look! Look!)

"Gasp ... wahlau eh ... so 'mor kui chang!'" (goose-pimples-inducing)

I'm keeping my fingers tightly crossed that everything will go smoothly. After lodging the application, I can finally chuck that aside and concentrate on the wedding preparations.

Y'know, I really gotta stop stressing myself out like this, over all this. I was looking at myself intently in the mirror a couple of weeks ago, and realised that in the last few weeks, I frowned so much that my lines, especially the ones right between my eyebrows, are now much, much deeper than before!! And four months before the wedding too! How can?!

Sigh.

Anyways.

The weekend's finally here, folks. Have a good one.

Happy Birthday Paris!

Big birthday shoutout to my dear blogger pal, PARIS!!

My dear, you have been a sheer blogging inspiration to me. Without you, I would not have lasted this long on my blog. Because of you, I started me very own beauty blog! Okay, okay, better stop sounding like some sort of weird blog stalker ... I just want to say THANK YOU :)

And many many happy returns of the day! Have some calorie-free cake :p

Twitter's Back

I've put my Twitter back on the blog. I don't why I did, 'cos I un-put it the last time.

Oh well. I hereby declare that it shall stay here until I don't know what to do about it anymore. Or till I cannot tahan its presence.

Twit! Twit!

Sickie Weekend

I am sick. Again :(

This isn't good. For the past two decades, I've never been sick more than twice a year, but this year, it's like my immune system's been shot to pieces.

Just got back from the doctor's. Check out my "loot".

The doc diagnosed me with acute tonsillitis. Just as well, I have high fever, and every time I swallow, it feels as though there's fire in my throat. Worst of all, my lymph nodes on my left side are now really swollen and painful.

I don't know whether to go to work tomorrow. I mean, I'm sicker than a cat, but I do have work to do, plus I don't want that idiot in the office to think I'm skivving off work again. Office politics. Don't you just hate 'em?

Now if you'll excuse me, I have a LOT of drugs to take. Whee.

Thank You

Thank you for all the lovely comments you posted on my last entry.

Many of you wondered how it was that I could have written and posted something so personal.

This was actually a meme which I saw in a few very good blogs, written by beautiful men and women with great inner strength. I started this as a draft almost a year ago, but I never did have the courage nor strength to finish writing it, and to actually reveal such a private part of my life.

Till now.

I Am The Girl was the most difficult entry I have ever written. It brought back a flood of memories, which a year and a half ago, would have broke me, but now, they are nothing but that. It doesn't mean that I am totally immune to the pain, but I have learned to let go.

It is true when they say you need closure after a really bad experience. I can finally move on with my life. I finally have closure. There is no longer anything to hold me back from pursuing the happiness I deserve.

It's very humbling admitting my mistakes. Yet, as difficult as it is, I see it as a small step of growth. Knowing that I'm fallible, that I'm accountable to my wrongdoings isn't easy. It never is.

I am not a beautiful person. Far from it. I am human. I have done things which I am not proud of, which will stay with me for the rest of my life. I can only embrace those mistakes, and try to be a better person.

It is wonderful to know that my life isn't over. In fact, it has only just begun.

And that, my friend, is what they call "closure" - Rachel, The One Where Ross Finds Out, FRIENDS

I Am The Girl

I am the baby whose parents thought was the most beautiful baby in the world when I was born.

I am the baby whose parents thought was the ugliest baby ever when my much cuter lil' baby brother was born.

I am the daughter who would jump at any chance to preen in front of the camera her daddy was holding.

I am the daughter whose mum used the rotan on the legs and arms, never on the buttocks, so that I could "show the cane marks off" to her friends in school, thus shaming me to never be naughty again.

I am the daughter whose mum would force to write two pages of English exercises daily, and to do arithmetic sums on the whiteboard prepared by dad.

I am the girl whose English and Mathematics were good in school because of that.

I am the daughter who disappointed her daddy for stealing library books from school.

I am the sister who beat you up bad when I was young, but I love you to bits now.

I am the girl who read Judith Mcnaught books in Standard Six, and wondered what "making love" was.

I am the girl who rejoiced when my period first came, because it meant that I was now more "mature" than her friends.

I am the friend who had one lesbian dream about you, but I never told you.

I am the girl who studied in an all-girl school for 11 years, thus not being able to talk to boys in fear of making a fool of myself.

I am the girl who was so excited on my first day of college, and was crestfallen when I was one of the very few girls in a male-dominated course.

I am the girl whose hand you held when we went ice-skating, even though I could skate better than you.

I am the girl who took your hand when you asked me to be your girlfriend.

I am the girlfriend who hardly went out with you when we were in the UK, because I thought it'd be more fun going out on my own.

I am the girl who continued with a Masters degree just because I wasn't ready to start working.

I am the girl who cried my heart out on the day I left UK for good.

I am the girl whom nobody talked to on my first day of work.

I am the girl who broke your heart after nearly six years of dating just because I thought I wanted more.

I am the granddaughter whose tears couldn't stop falling when you died.

I am the girl who pretended to be good at what I do, when in fact, I know nothing.

I am the girl who text-messaged you warm wishes when you were going to Japan.

I am the girl whose heart leapt when you first held my hand.

I am the girl who jumped at the chance of going to Japan just to be near you.

I am the girl whose heart you broke to pieces when you told me you were getting married to someone else.

I am the girl who lost faith in God because I thought He wasn't answering my prayers.

I am the girl who tried to kill myself because I thought I could no longer survive.

I am the girl who bears scars on her wrists to this day to remind me that no man is worth dying for.

I am the girl whom you finally freed when you told me you were going to be a father.

I am the friend whom you lifted out of my despair, and cried on your shoulder.

I am the friend who took advantage of my vulnerable situation just to have someone hold me close.

I am the girl who lost a friend because of my selfishness.

I am the friend who cried when I sang at your wedding when you were walking down the aisle.

I am the long-lost friend whom you emailed just to catch up.

I am the girl who looked forward to chatting with you online every night.

I am the girl who arranged to meet up with you during Chinese New Year but broke our date at the very last minute.

I am the girl whose heart beat so hard when you asked. Via text message.

I am the girl who would tell you the answer face to face, thus making you wait.

I am the girlfriend who thanked God that you gave me my best first kiss.

I am the girlfriend who cried buckets when you had to go back to Australia.

I am the girl whom you brought closer to God through prayer.

I am the girl who wouldn't take it seriously when you first proposed, and smiled so hard when you asked again.

I am the woman who found love once again because of you.

I am the woman whom you lovingly called "wifey" on the day of our registration.

I am the friend who sometimes wishes she gets you, when in fact, she doesn't.

I am the woman who wants to do more with her life, than just to climb the corporate ladder which she does not even have interest in.

I am the woman who is apprehensive yet excited on starting a new life.

I am the woman who discovered writing, and how cathartic it can be.

I am Tine. Always have been. Always will be.

Five, Five, FIVE!

5 things found in my room:

• My trusty notebook
• A 29-inch flat-screen telly, thanks to my dad (who won it in a golf competition, by the way), and an el-cheapo DVD player, both providing me many hours of in-room entertainment.
• A dressing table filled with beauty products (tsk tsk tsk)
• A director's chair (have always wanted one of these; more comfy for my many hours on my computer)
• A bed with 2 soft toys from Tim, and, get this - FOUR pillows and THREE bolsters :p

5 things I’ve always wanted to do:

• Sing at the Royal Albert Hall (yeah, it's a dream :p)
• Star at a Kopitiam-styled sitcom
• Write a bestselling novel
• Visit Europe (see how I've cleverly sneaked in more countries to visit. Tee hee hee!)
• Go back to Dundee to visit my old friends

5 things found in my bag:

• Wallet
• Mobile phone
• My Lulu Guiness tissue holder (tissues, Palmer's Cocoa Butter lipbalm, lipstick, comb, small mirror, blotters). I bought the LG holder, which comes with a pretty handkerchief, for only 1000yen.
• USB drives - a 2GB and 512MB thumbdrive, a 1GB SD card, a 1GB miniSD card, and SD card reader (*cough* geek *cough*)
• Organiser
• Business card holder - networking is so important, no?

5 things found in my wallet:

• Cash
• Credit cards
• Identification card and driver's license
• Stamps, bits of paper, my many "membership cards"
• A photo of Tim and I

5 things I’m currently into:

• Wedding planning
• Australian spouse visa application
• Checking out home interior decorating books and buying knick-knacks for our future home in Melbourne ;)
• Web design - learning more by tweaking my beauty blog's layout for a more professional "feel"
• Bones - it's not as interesting as CSI, but somehow I'm hooked

Now that I've told you what's in my room, bag and wallet, don't rob me ya? I have no money one :p

My Blogging Station

Oooh lookie here. A peek into my room. More specifically, my haven, my spot of comfort. My blogging station.

My trusty old notebook (which I guard with my life, and am very paranoid about), a good set of speakers (in my book, anyway), a nice cuppa tea ... and I'm all set for my usual writing. Of course, I also *ahem* blog *ahem* at the office, but I don't have to tell you why I can't post a picture of that ;)

By the way, I do not have a Hello Kitty fetish. The mousepad was a gift from my dad (he got it in Taiwan), who thought because I'm a girl, I'd like Hello Kitty. Yeah, go figure :p The Hello Kitty fan's the only one available when I was at the very very hot Kek Lok Si.

Anyways.

What's your blogging station like?

PS: Oh, and my wee external hard disk? Provides many hours of HDTV-quality entertainment, if you know what I mean *wink wink*

PPS: It's not porn.

Complete The Sentence

Ahh, my first tag from TrueBluePenangite and May. For the rest of the tags which I still owe you folks, very sorry hoh, I haven't forgotten any of them; in fact, I'm drafting them out now as I have loads to do! *sheepish grin*. I'll get to 'em, I promise! *fingers crossed behind my back*

For now, my task is to complete the sentences provided. Here goes nothing.

1. I've come to realise that my last kiss was in front of my family at The Curve with my husband of a day, just before we parted ways and will not see each other again in over two months.
2. I am listening to Forever Tonight by Peter Cetera and Crystal Bernard (I am so in love with this song. Sigggghhhh ...)
3. I talk non-stop.
4. I love singing in the shower, and dancing in front of the mirror.
5. My best friends are very close to my heart, but all over the world.
6. My car is a Proton Waja. Not exactly the most fantastic car in the world, but I paid every sen of it with my sweat-and-blood money, so yeah, I'm quite proud of it, although I tell people that it's a shitty Proton :p
7. My love life is a blessing from God.
8. I hate it when people ask me if I need a new credit card, just because Bank A, Bank B to Bank Z are having yet-another-free-for-life promotion.
9. Love is beautiful.
10. Marriage is a sacred union and should not be taken lightly.
11. Somewhere, someone is thinking "good Lord, is this girl blogging AGAIN?!"
12. I'm always on Facebook. I have to stop, I really do. My addiction is getting out of hand :(
13. I have a secret cheesy crush on Hugh Jackman. Ever since Kate and Leopold. What a beautiful, beautiful man.
14. My cell phone is never switched off, and is always with me. Thus I have no excuse that you can't reach me :p
15. When I wake up in the morning I wish I can stay in a little longer.
16. When I go to bed at night I always receive a good night text message from Tim. Even though we've chatted for hours. Yep, we're cheesy like that :p
17. Right now I am thinking about what to do for my four-day weekend. Yep, I get Friday, and next Monday off for the Raya holidays. God bless Malaysia and her many, many races :)
18. Babies are not my thing. Not now anyway.
19. I get on MySpace nope, I don't use MySpace. Facebook is bad enough.
20. Today I am not in the mood to work, as I keep thinking about the long weekend.
21. Tonight I will continue tweaking the new layout for my beauty blog (stay tuned!). For some reason, web design, CSS, HTML and all that relaxes me. I'm such a nerd.
22. Tomorrow I will be able to sleep in. Woohoo!
23. I really want to go to Paris and Italy. I'm just going to keep repeating that until someone gets the hint and bring me there :p
24. Someone that will most likely repost this is Paris, so TAG! :p

I'm Going To Live Till 102!

Guess when I'm going to die?

This is what happens when you're bored to death (ouch!). Not at work, mind you, but at home, when I'm supposed to be resting and nursing my cold. Instead I'm on Facebook, buying everyone lots of alcohol, and having chicken heads thrown at me.

Oh well. All in a day.

PS: Go on. Give the site a go. You know you want to ;)

I Am Sick

I am down with a flu :(

Posts will resume in a couple of days. Sorry folks, gotta nurse meself back to shape. See lah, the stress has finally broken me *whimper*. Physically anyway :p

See y'all soon!

I Heart MIX FM But ...

One of the perks (they are few, by the way) of my workplace is that as I work on my computer terminal, I get to listen to music while I work. Gotta have my earphones hooked on, of course, but yeah, I get to listen to music while I'm on the computer. So anyways, after listening to my iTunes for too long (that's *ahem* almost 16GB worth of songs in my PC *ahem*), I got tired of it, and started listening to the wee portable radio I have.

So anyways, these days I've been listening to a lot of MIX FM. I especially enjoy the breakfast show with Ika, Serena C and Pietro. Man, they're a crazy lot. It's really funny to hear the two girls ganging up on the poor fella, who, by the way, always get bullied into doing crazy stuff with the rest of the male DJs just because the *ahem* LADIES keep winning Who Wears The Pants :p If you have no idea what I'm talking about, then go listen to Mix FM! (I'm not paid to write this, by the way, which you'll know why soon).

Okay, MIX FM, guys, I love your station, especially the Mix Breakfast shows with the three hilarious jokers, but I'm afraid I have a bone to pick with you.

First of all, I don't understand the need to have Phua Chu Kang in your shows. He may be funny on the actual sitcom, but far from it on the air. He speaks too fast, and his jokes are lame. Somehow I think adding PCK kinda insults the intelligence of the listeners. The Manglish/Singlish thing? Really overrated, guys. I always switch to another station when he gets on air. I don't know about you, but it irritates me in the morning.

Oh, and MIX FM Make The First Move? I've been listening to the shows for a week now, and I don't know, it just somehow seems WRONG to be making the first move for someone who wants to date or make a date with someone else when the whole NATION's listening to y'all. Getting to know someone, dating someone is a personal thing. I've heard a couple of callers who requested Ika, Serena C and Pietro to help them get the girls, but when they answered the phone, and found out what was going on, they were pissed off. I remembered a couple of lines.

"This is a personal affair between X and I" (said very coldly)

(girl to the caller) "YOU ACTUALLY GAVE MY NUMBER TO THE STATION???"

Unless you know the girl's a good sport, really, I think MIX FM is mucking things up even more than actually helping.

Anyways, that's that. Just a little rant for the weekend. I'll still continue to listen to the Breakfast Show, that's for sure. I mean, the three fellas are pretty much the only DJs worth listening to anyway ;)

I Promise To Be Good

I woke up this morning, determined to be positive in all that I do. Well, at least for today. I was determined not to let anything get to me today.

And it didn't.

I was actually nice to the one person whom I've been real annoyed at for the past few weeks. Even though time and again, all I could think of was giving this person a wedgie or two for being a responsibility-pushing, credit-taking pain in the behind. And believe me, it took every ounce of me to be nice. I tried not to fake it, but many a time, it was very difficult. Wedgie! Wedgie!

As for the other stuff, like wedding preparations and all, well, so far things are going all right. Which is good *fingers crossed behind my back*

Anyways, that's for today. I'm not exactly Pollyanna, but I was, on the whole, very pleasant. I'm just glad that everything went my way.

Who knows, all hell might break loose come tomorrow *wink wink*

A Prayer

Lord, help me to be more understanding of him, who's so far away. I pray for Your wisdom and Your strength. I don't want to go through this relationship alone. I don't want to wear him down with my insecurities. Not again.

Be with me Lord, during this time. Be with us.

Amen.

A Short Update

It's been a stressful couple of weeks, especially with the change in working hours. Thank God, the working-in-shifts order's been lifted, and I'm back on normal working hours.

I've been so tired lately, what with the tight working schedule, wedding preparations, and Australian visa applications. All to be done simultaneously in three months.

Just want to thank all of you who wrote in, either here or on my Facebook; I really appreciate it. Things are getting done, slowly but surely.

A dear friend of mine had a Bible verse in mind when she was in labour, and it was the verse which kept her going. I know what I'm going through now is nothing compared to childbirth, but right now, it's one of the very few things keeping me going.

God is the strength of my heart and my portion forever" Psalm 73:26

Bloody Broadband, Bloody Shifts, Bloody Insensitive Bastards

My Internet connection's been really bad all weekend.

I don't know if anyone else is experiencing problems with their Streamyx, but then again, when have you NEVER had problems with that stupid broadband provider, huh? Their customer service is severely lacking; in fact, all of their services are questionable. It's just sad that we have too little broadband providers fighting for the top spot. I mean, if our broadband providers are as competitive as our mobile telcos, why, we consumers would have a ball!

Sigh.

Anyways.

It's been a stay-at-home weekend for me, which is great, because I really needed the rest from all the early mornings I had during the week. Guess what, I'll be on afternoon shift next week; my working hours will be from 2.30pm to 10.30pm. Can you see me jumping for joy here? Woo. Bloody. Hoo.

Sorry folks. I'm currently just too bloody uptight to be nice.

PS: Oh, and to those who bitched about the Nurin case, blaming the parents for neglecting their child in the first place? If you don't have children, SHUT UP. Even if you do, imagine losing them. How's that for a laugh, huh? Leave the parents be. They've already lost their flesh and blood. Geez.

I'm Sorry, Mum

I posted this as a comment on Zewt's, and I thought, I'd write it out here as well. Because all I feel, right now, is utter shame.

I've been having fights after fights, screaming matches, etc with my mum for weeks now over my wedding. I came to the point where I was absolutely sick and fed up, that I just wanted to do away with the wedding and get the hell out of the house for good because I just couldn't stand her anymore.

Until I read this.

Then suddenly, the biggest feeling of shame washed over me, and now, all I can think of is give my mum a big hug when I see her, when I still can, and tell her I'm so sorry for giving her so much grief, so much pain, because I've been such an incredibly selfish daughter.

Thank you.

The Choices We Make When We Blog

(A serious entry and a tag, all in one. It's gotta be a first, eh?)

Paris tagged me on what I originally thought was my advice on blogging, until I started reading on what she also wrote on the choices we make, and I was like, huh?? Her sis, Pink Elle, talked about choices too, so I thought, okay, what the heck, I'll talk about that too. But something a little different. This time, I'll talk about choices you make when it comes to blogging.

I won't say that I'm a seasoned blogger (far from it; a little over two years is nothing compared to the big guns out there, earning gazillions of dollars), but I've read a lot of blogs during the last two years, and in between, encountered a lot of different people with a whole lotta views. Views about life, the environment, the government, etc. That's a good thing, for what is a blog if not a place to express their views?

But what happens when you cross the line with what you've written? Words that hurt. I don't mean trivial negative comments, e.g. disagreement with what you've written, etc (everyone gets that from time to time), but the ones who really drive a stake to the heart. The ones that disrupts harmony. The fanatics.

I don't know about you, but I absolutely hate it when one swears at another involving the other's mother. ("Your mother" is still all right with me, but when it involves their genitals, that's the one I cannot tahan). Yeah, it's (sadly) common, and a lot of people think it's no big deal, but really, have you ever thought about the person's mother? What if she's deceased? Not so much fun desecrating one's dead mother now, is it?

You have a choice of what you write on your blog. You have a choice to inspire, or disparage. Of course, you'll say we also have a choice to read or leave. Fair enough. But if you want to keep your readers (what's a blog without readers?), why force them to leave?

Remember the saying, "If you don't have something good to say, then don't say it at all"? It's true, y'know.

Anyways.

That's it about choices, and now, onto the tag (yeah, I know, a very sudden change in tone, but heck, it's apparently supposed to be like this!).

~ Start Copy ~

It’s very simple. When this is passed on to you, copy the whole thing, skim the list and put a * star beside those that you like. (Check out especially the * starred ones.)

Write your own blogging tip for other bloggers.Try to make your tip general.

01. Look, read, and learn. http://www.neonscent.com/

02. Be EXCELLENT to each other. http://www.bushmackel.com/

03. Don’t let money change ya! http://therandomforest.info/ ******

04. Always reply to your comments. http://chattiekat.com/ ******

05. Blog about what you know & love. http://sugar-queens-dream.blogspot.com *

06. Don’t use filthy language-buy a dictionary. http://shinade.blogspot.com/

07. Blog about something educational http://climateofourfuture.org/

08. Be yourself; others will follow http://sfgirl-thealiennextdoor.blogspot.com/ *

09. Don’t have too many blogs that will become a chore to maintain http://cubicledenizen.blogspot.com/

10. Keep it simple, user-friendly, interesting and organised! http://erishaling.blogspot.com/ *

11. Keep the blog simple and sweet!! http://www.leslieho.com/

12. Share with others your thoughts and don’t be shy! http://groovy-olives.com/blog

13. Never ask for link exchange. Blog hop to increase traffic. http://www.jessieling.com/ *

14. Blog about something uniquely you. Or post some unique pictures. http://bernardchan.net/ *

15. Avoid too lengthy posts e.g. less than 200 words if you can help it. http://www.mylongkang.com/

16. Avoid Doing Tags. http://clementwongpy.blogspot.com/

17. Remember to go to the toilet when nature calls, don’t just sit glued to the computer or you’ll shit in your pants! http://wuching.blogspot.com/

18. Blog hopping is fun. You’ll never know what gem you’ll find in the blogsphere. http://che-cheh.com/

19. Do. Not. Plagiarize. http://narrowband.org/

20. Don’t put pressure on yourself to blog. Blogging should be FUN! http://rinnah.blogspot.com/ **

21. Love yourself, love your blog, love your readers, and keep sharing your love through your blog. http://yeehon.blogspot.com/ *

22. If you hug them, they will come. http://littlemissmay.com/ *

23. Don’t clutter your blog with too many ads. http://www.parisbeaverbanks.com/

24. Do not read too many SEO, money-making blogs if you've never blogged before but want to give it a go. The information overload will freak you out, and it'll take away the fun in blogging. http://www.sweetcontemplation.com

~ End Copy ~

My peeps to tag for today:

Beetrice - just because :p
Kleio - haven't seen you in while
Little Comma - give you a break from lil' Ivan :p

Go on, have your say. *

Money Money Money, Must Be Funny

*Take a deep breath*

Okay.

I know I've been ranting and complaining and moaning a lot lately just about everything. And to stick to my guns that I will not post more three emo posts in a row, I found something which made me smile today.

Ooooooh lookie lookie, I made US$66.15 on my beauty blog in two months!!

Okay I know this amount is probably piss to those who make like a gazillion dollars online, but it's a lot to me. Plus, it's a good start. It's definitely an encouraging motive for me to put more effort into the blog. Everytime I get an email from Paypal informing me that I have new funds, it gives me a big grin on my face.

So, what am I going to do with the money? For now, I'm leaving it untouched (Paypal experts - will the money expire if I do not add a bank account or something?).

Sikit sikit, lama lama menjadi bukit :p

Tee hee hee!

Panic Attack

I woke up with a start at 4 in the morning, and suddenly thoughts of wedding details still not done came rushing to me like a burst dam, and I started having a panic attack. Only about four months left to the wedding, and there are SO much stuff still not confirmed, still not done.

Really doesn't help with my suddenly-tight work schedule and having to go to work at 6am every morning. Doesn't help when my own parents don't even understand what sort of stress I'm under.

I'm so tired :(

I'm So Enjoying The Rain, Aren't You?

I'm writing this whilst looking out the window, watching the soft patter of rain. Mmmm ...

It's been another uneventful weekend. Time spent with the family is now more and more precious and treasured as the time draws nearer to the wedding, which ultimately means my leaving for Australia. As much as I've *ahem* complained about having no other person to go out with during the weekends but Mum, I really do appreciate the company, and our bonding sessions.

My working hours will be from 6.30am to 2.30pm for all of next week, due to some reshuffling of work resources. I can hear all the gasps of horror from those of you out there who find it a real feat waking up in the morning (*cough* Tim *cough*). It really is no biggie for me as I tend to wake up pretty early anyway, and it just means that I'll leave for the office an hour earlier than my usual time. The great part's leaving at 2.30pm, when I'll be able to miss the rush hour traffic. Woo hoo!!

I've been spending quite a lot of time on my beauty blog for the past couple of weeks, and have been rather neglecting this one. This is what happens when the other one starts churning money for me, thus having to pay more attention to it. Sigh. Anyways, I've got two pillar articles coming up for this one (freakin' long ones, with RESEARCH. Ooooh :p), so do stay tuned.

Have a great remaining Sunday. I'm enjoying the rain :)

S: Okay, for those of you whom I'm playing Scrabulous on Facebook with, have mercy! I just can't keep losing like this!!

I Am Tired

I am tired.

I am tired of my work load right now, which seemed to triple ever since I came back from KL. Things aren't getting any easier with a new addition to the team whom I'm not at all keen on and do not like. What makes it worse is that I'm beginning to be sidelined as a group leader, just because word has leaked out that I shall be leaving soon. I do not mind surrendering the position to someone else, someone more capable, more assertive, more responsible, if the management has had the courtesy to let me know first. I do not enjoy being kept in the dark.

At the moment, no one's saying anything, and I don't think I'm being paranoid. I could jolly well throw in the towel and say "To hell with you guys, I don't care anymore. Why should I? I won't even be here for long". But I can't. I have a responsibility as a leader to see things through, and I will tie all loose ends before I leave. If only they let me. I'm operating on a very tight wire right now. It's only a matter of time before I snap.

Despite all this, I know that the worst is yet to come.

I am tired.

I am tired of putting up a front at the workplace, that everything's peaches and cream, that I'm happy at how things are going, when in fact, they're not. The working environment has changed so severely ever since I got back. I know what's going on, but I do not understand why they are. Who was it that said "why can't everyone just get along?" This goes to show that the workplace is just like one big kindergarten, where people are behaving like sulky children.

I am tired.

I am tired of pretending that I'm not married in the workplace. That nothing has changed. Due to certain reasons (which I will reveal when the time comes), I cannot disclose the fact that I'm married, except to a few close friends. Thus, I cannot openly plan my wedding with my girlfriends, without worrying who's looking over my shoulder. It really takes away the joy in the planning process.

I am tired.

I am tired of the fact that even though I AM married, it doesn't feel that I am, because Tim's so far away. I miss him terribly, and it really hurts that we're so far apart (bad enough that we only spent a day together as husband and wife, and even then, I was down with a flu), especially during this trying period. I'm so glad for the Internet, that I'm able to see him every night, but us not being physically together doesn't make it any better. I know, I know, we'll be together in no time. Well, they don't call it a rant for nothing, eh?

Still, I'm real grateful that both our parents understand the predicament that we're in, and are being as supportive as they can. It's not going to be easy for my parents when I do leave for Australia next year (Mum kept saying that she feels as though she's losing her daughter). It isn't going to be easy for me either.


Lord, I pray that You'll be with me throughout this trying period. I pray for strength to carry on. I ask for Your forgiveness that I only come to You in times of trouble, but I really need You now. I need to be in Your peace. Amen.

Stupid Pins And Needles

Can't imagine how I slept last night, but I woke up to tremendous pins and needles on both legs and feet, which lasted quite long. They hurt so bad, I had to wake up and massage the calves for a bit, before I can sleep again.

And now my calves are real sore. What gives?! :(

*grumble*

PS: Sorry guys, writer's block again. Grrr.

My Very Rugi Weekend

Man, it's been such a "rugi" weekend. See, my grandma's staying with us for a couple of months, and to keep her from being totally bored out of her mind (she does call our house her "jail", cos she doesn't get to go out much. Shucks), my dad bought a mahjong set for her to fill her time with.

So, for the whole of Saturday and Sunday (and most likely for the rest of her visit here) were filled with mahjong sessions. All of us went on "shifts" to play with her :p

Unfortunately, I am a very lousy mahjong player. I mean REALLY bad. First of all, I had to memorise what the characters meant (what to do, I'm a 'banana' through and through), and I had to remember which "wind" position I was in. I'd have really great tiles, and yet I'd lose. Really, wearing red underwear and all that wouldn't even help (apparently, it changes your luck or something); I'm THAT bad.

In this game, I lost RM10 in 45 minutes. I lost most of it to my dad. Siong ah.

As for this one, I lost RM1.30 in 1.5 hours (good tiles, right? I lost). We had to lower the stakes, 'cos I was losing so badly.

Still, I reckon with the mahjong set in the house, we should be able to practise more for our annual mahjong sessions with the extended family during Chinese New Year. Hopefully, I'll stop sucking, plus this time, I'll win me back some moolah.

*Mali mali hom* Money, money, come to me! MUAHAHAHA ...

Good Things Come In Threes

Haven't been doing tags for a while now. Not because no one tagged me, but because I either didn't have the time to do it, or I totally forgot about it. A thousand apologies, folks.

By the way, I think memes (well, the good ones) are great post-fillers when you are having writer's block. They normally come in lists, which makes it really easy to read, AND it gives the readers a better picture of what you are like. Just a tip :)

Okay, onto the tag.

Paris tagged on a three-on-three a couple of weeks ago; I have to give three answers to each question. Ahh shouldn't be difficult. At least it's not another 100 Things About Me :p (oh, and I owe you two more tags, Paris. Will get to that as soon as I can).

Three things that scare me are
1. Flying cockroaches - they're the most disgusting living thing ever to have the privilege to live in this planet.
2. Dying alone
3. Gory pictures/movies - these images stay in my head for ages, and, for some reason, make me very nervous

Three people who make me laugh
1. My hubby :p
2. Blackadder
3. My dad (we can joke just about anything. And I mean ANYTHING)

Three things I love
1. Bags - I agree with Paris; I'm a bag lady too!
2. Mobile phones - I change a new one almost every year (yeah, I'm weird like that. Although with my current Nokia N80, I might have to wait a while before getting a new one, 'cos that one cost me a bomb).
3. Blogs - what can I say, I'm addicted to you people ;)

Three things I hate
1. Cockroaches (all sorts. Despicable!)
2. Baked beans
3. Split ends

Three things I don't understand
1. The stock market (OMG, Paris, could we be anymore alike??)
2. Finance, marketing, accounting mumbo-jumbo.
3. Why there are so many stupid people around.

Three things on my desk
1. Mug
2. Fan which I brought back from Japan (this follows me everywhere; it's quite big, but I lug it around to meetings and such. Hey, the Japs do it too, plus it keeps me awake during meetings)
3. Stationery holder (a proper holder, and a yogurt cup which holds my 2B pencils and highlighter pens)

Three things I am doing right now
1. Not working (how else would I be doing this meme?)
2. Playing Scrabulous on Facebook.
3. Chatting with Tim on Skype.

Three things I want to do before I die
1. Visit Paris (the city and the person *grin*)
2. Do something I really enjoy AND get paid for it.
3. Go for my 50th school reunion, if we still have one :p

Three things I can do
1. Play the piano and sing at the same time.
2. Raise an eyebrow (so far, I do not know anyone else who can do this)
3. Mimic people (my family and colleagues are very amused by my antics)

Three things I can't do
1. Lose weight *sob sob*
2. Shape my own brows (I tend to muck it up; best to leave it to the pros)
3. Sleep too long (I get cranky if I've slept too much)

Three things I think you should listen to
1. Your inner voice (unless you're schizophrenic, of course)
2. Sound of falling rain. Very therapeutic.
3. Your mother.

Three things you should never listen to
1. Gossip (but isn't that just so hard NOT to?)
2. Pushy salespeople
3. Fanatics on the Internet (bloody attention seekers)

Three shows I watched as a kid
1. The Electric Company - BEST! Much better than Sesame Street (boo Elmo!). Poor kids these days have to be subjected to Barney and Teletubbies *shudder*
2. Jem (my favourite cartoon - the big hair and cute songs got me hooked)
3. Growing Pains - Had quite a crush on Kirk Cameron then (early bloomer, hehe)

Now to tag three people:
1. Adino
2. Pelf
3. Zewt

Work Woes

Okay guys, I get the hint. I've already posted the ROM photos at the wedding blog, which you can check out here. See, I'm so nice :)

Anyhoos.

I'm getting real swamped at work, personally and professionally. It's funny how things can go a 180 degrees turn in just the one week I was away. It's only been three days back, and I'm already ready to scream.

There is sudden tension everywhere, and the somewhat-comfortable environment of work that I was used to is now some kind of mental war zone. Suddenly, never-before politics have managed to seep into the group. Everyone's watching their backs so carefully in case they get stabbed. It's making me pretty nervous, and quite frankly, bloody annoyed.

Lord, give me strength to persevere during this "storm". Otherwise I'll go nuts.

A Second Look At The Creation

A colleague sent this to me via email today, and I thought, oh my, what a way to describe the Creation. Oh, and it's meant to be a joke. It's a slow Tuesday, so let's lighten up a little, eh?


In the beginning, God created the Heavens and the Earth and populated the Earth with broccoli, cauliflower and spinach, green and yellow and red vegetables of all kinds, so Man and Woman would live long and healthy lives.

Then using God's great gifts, Satan created Ben and Jerry's Ice Cream and Krispy Creme Donuts. And Satan said, "You want chocolate with that?" And Man said, "Yes!" and Woman said, "and as long as you're at it, add some sprinkles." And they gained 10 pounds. And Satan smiled.

And God created the healthful yogurt that Woman might keep the figure that Man found so fair. And Satan brought forth white flour from the wheat, and sugar from the cane and combined them. And Woman went from size 6 to size 14.

So God said, "Try my fresh green salad." And Satan presented Thousand-Island Dressing, buttery croutons and garlic toast on the side. And Man and Woman unfastened their belts following the repast.

God then said, "I have sent you heart healthy vegetables and olive oil in which to cook them." And Satan brought forth deep fried fish and chicken-fried steak so big it needed its own platter. And Man gained more weight and his cholesterol went through the roof. God then created a light, fluffy white cake, named it "Angel Food Cake," and said, "It is good." Satan then created chocolate cake and named it "Devil's Food."

God then brought forth running shoes so that His children might lose those extra pounds. And Satan gave cable TV with a remote control so Man would not have to toil changing the channels. And Man and Woman laughed and cried before the flickering blue light and gained pounds.

Then God brought forth the potato, naturally low in fat and brimming with nutrition. And Satan peeled off the healthful skin and sliced the starchy center into chips and deep-fried them. And Man gained pounds.

Then God brought forth the potato, naturally low in fat and brimming with nutrition. And Satan peeled off the healthful skin and sliced the starchy center into chips and deep-fried them. And Man gained pounds.

God then gave lean beef so that Man might consume fewer calories and still satisfy his appetite. And Satan created McDonald's and its 99-cent double cheeseburger. Then said, "You want fries with that?" And Man replied, "Yes! And super size them!" And Satan said, "It is good." And Man went into cardiac arrest.

God sighed and created quadruple bypass surgery.

Then Satan created HMOs.


So, who do you reckon's the bad guy here? Enjoy first, suffer later? Or suffer first, enjoy later?

Your call.

One Crazy Week, And Back To Reality

Finally back from my week-long break. It was such an exciting and eventful week, that I don't even know where to start.

It was so good seeing Tim once again, after being away from each other for over two months. I guess that's the best thing about being in a long-distanced relationship; you get to fall in love with each other over and over again. Of course, we pray that this will also remain when we're finally living together in Melbourne next year.

It wasn't so much of a break for us to have romantic getaways as such when he got back last week than a trip to settle a lot of registration of marriage logistics here and there. I mean, really, how things get done in Malaysia is beyond me. I mean, people are simply so slow, so inefficient! Tsk tsk tsk. Anyways, praise God, all the near-misses of the registration of marriage were ironed out.

I spent the first weekend with Tim's family, and he spent the week with mine. I had quite a good time, in fact, getting to know his family better. Had meals with them, went to church service with them, etc.

The bridal photography session on the 29th was hilarious. The photographer and assistants were really nice; the ice was broken almost immediately, and they made it a very pleasant experience for us. I should think that Tim would be the one who'd laugh at the styles of posing for the camera, as a lot of them were really cheesy. Unfortunately, I was the one who just couldn't stop collapsing in giggles when we had to put our faces very close together for the fake "romantic" shots. Tim was like, "Oi, be serious lah" all the time, because I just couldn't stop laughing. In my defense, when your face is THAT close with your man, you either kiss him, or ... wait, there's nothing else! Gazing into each others eyes dreamily? You've GOT to be kidding me. I'd sooner go cross-eyed (psst, and you wonder where the romance has gone, eh? Tee hee hee!).

Anyways, it was a great experience, and I arranged to view and select the photos the very next day, as Tim had very limited time in Malaysia. And maaaaannn, not to *ahem* blow my own horn or anything, but *ahem* ... I looked GORGEOUS! I mean, WE looked GORGEOUS!! :p

The photos were very well taken, and the cheesy shots really captured us perfectly. I selected a few cheesy shots (it's a must lah), and so did Tim. My favourite photos were the ones taken outdoors.

We went to Batu Ferringhi for our outdoor shots, and I must say, I felt really weird, all dolled up in 6 inches of makeup, hairsprayed-till-it's-hard-as-a-rock hairdo, wedding gown and veil, amidst the sand and lalang. There were a few shots taken where I had to sit on the lalang, and I had crickets jumping all over me. Euuuwww. The ones at the beach were also quite nice, until it came to the part where Tim had to carry me on piggyback, for the photographer to capture. You can hear Tim's voice "Oi, hurry up and take lah, she's very heavy!!" from a mile away. Still, you didn't think he'd get away with that without a thumping or two from me now, do you? ;)

Anyhoos, the photo selection process was really difficult; every photo was so well taken. We ended up forking a LOT of money to order another extra 17 photos. And that, my friends, is already pushing it, because it really was heart-breaking marking the photos we could not afford anymore to have with a black-ink marker. They're a mean lot, those bridal-house people, making us mar our lovely photos. Sigh.

The Registration of Marriage was a surprisingly short affair. Bea joined us as well, which was great. My mum requested her to get me flowers as well, and they were lovely (girl, you SO know my taste :p). Tim got me flowers too, which had two "married" bears on the bouquet, a few pieces of heart-shaped chocs, and very beautiful red roses. The whole affair (including the swearing in, the signing of the marriage certificates and exchange of rings) lasted a good FIVE minutes. We spent a lot of time just taking photos.

Speaking of which, I know I've been yakking a lot here with no photos to show. I'll post the photos on the wedding blog, as I reckon it's more appropriate to be placed there. Oh, and I'll also post a few shots taken during the bridal photography session as well. That ought to be fun, eh?

The most difficult part of the wonderful week I had was saying goodbye to Tim ONE DAY after we got married. You'd think I'd be used to it by now, but it really just got worse. We're really praying hard that he'll be able to come back to Malaysia at least once before the wedding. Keep your fingers (and toes, and whatever appendages you can spare) crossed too, ya? :)

So now, it's back to work, and back to reality for us. Tim will be returning to Melbourne tomorrow (*sob sob*), and I managed to contract a cold from all the excitement of the week. Work has started to pile too. Gah. Don't ask me what married life is like though. I've only had him for a day.

Still, to end this on a brighter note,
I'd like to thank all of you who sent well wishes here, and for those who specially emailed and/or texted me to congratulate us. I'm so touched at all your wishes, and really really appreciate them *hugs*.